Just Like Life
by Gypsy3
Summary: ** UPDATED!!** A FBI agent must face her demons from the past AND help Frank and the team take down a nationwide drug and prostitution ring - leading the Agent into a face to face showdown that will determine her future in the Department of Justice.
1. Prologue

Title: Just Like Life

Author: Gypsy 

Comments: Sure. Flames and Kisses are welcome all the same.

gypsybaby1@attbi.com

Spoilers: None.

Archive: Please ask first.

Rating: R due scenes of violence, language and sensuality.

Disclaimers: The characters from **_UC: Undercover_** and **_Third Watch_** involved the property of NBC Entertainment and their creators. No copyright infringement is intended. Original characters, however, are the property of the author. So this means you can't sue me!! Unless you want my car payment, collection of river rocks, unique goblets and my clones... who only mind me... some of the time…

Summary: A FBI agent must face her demons from the past AND help Frank and the team take down a nationwide drug and prostitution ring - leading the Agent into a face to face showdown that will determine her future in the Department of Justice.

****

November 1999

Aja wasn't sure how long she'd been running. But she knew three things as she kept moving: 1 - She was being followed. 2 - She was really beginning to hurt. Her legs felt like they were on fire and if she didn't stop soon, they'd turn to rubber and she'd hit the pavement hard. 3 - The sonofabitch she was chasing was most likely going to be eating through a straw for the next month and a half after she caught him. The first and last reasons kept her moving. She was lit by a fueling desire to beat the shit out of the man who shot and killed the cop she was partnered with on this assignment… and she didn't know who it was that was chasing her down. If she stopped, her own rotten luck would make sure that it was the wrong person and not backup that was hot on her heels. Heels… she had to have been insane when she put her boots on tonight. Of course, she wasn't expecting to wind up in a long and hard foot chase when she got dressed.

Radio… she should have grabbed a NYPD hand radio when she bolted out of the club. If she had she could have had this bastard caught by now and in custody so she could waltz her scantily clad ass into her boss' office and wrap up this case. No one ever said that being a part of the Department of Justice's FBI ranks was 99% paperwork. Oh yeah, the life of an undercover agent was all fun and games - until you're made. With the fiasco tonight, she was made - managed to out herself right in front of Herrera and his men. It was a good thing she didn't live here in New York… well, at least she wouldn't be anymore once tonight was over with. This was her last bust undercover as local police. When she got back from her vacation in Rio, she would be thrown into the FBI Training Academy as part of their teaching staff. Why in the name of God did she agree to a two-year tour of teaching in Quantico? 

She saw her quarry turn and dart into an alley just a few yards ahead of her. Peachy… if it turned out to be a dead end alley, then she could most likely get the drop on him. Bad luck of it all would be whoever it was that was chasing her would be able to corner her in that alley as well. It was a risk she was willing to take. At least she was armed. Aja gripped the police issue Beretta in her left hand as she ran around the corner into the alley. As she made the turn, she felt her feet slide out from under her briefly, causing her to stumble and crunch into the brick wall. "God damned high heeled boots…" she growled under her breath as she took off running again.

"FREEZE!!" she shouted as she ran down the dark alley. "GOD DAMN IT I SAID TO FUCKING FREEZE!!" The end was in sight, she could see the 12 foot high chain-link fence at the end of the alley… what she couldn't see was the perp she was chasing. She skidded to a stop, stumbling and bouncing up against the chain link fence. Grasping the cold chain link in her hands, Aja snarled viciously and kicked at the fencing. "GOD DAMN IT!!" she screamed. Behind her the footsteps slowed down, then multiplied. Sweat slicked her palms as she took some deep breaths to try and calm herself. She wasn't alone and there was more than one. 'Oh God,' she thought. 'Jesus fucking Christ I'm a dead woman…'

"Laura, Laura, Laura…tch,"

Slowly she turned around, her short black hair damp with sweat and sticking to her cheeks. Right in front of her was Vadim, one of the front men for Herrera. He was a nearly skeletal man with sallow skin and watery blue eyes that harbored an intense hatred for the police. It was hatred she'd seen surface more than once. Everything was a set up - the shooting, the club, the foot chase… she was set up, somehow she'd been found out before she'd outed herself. It all crystallized in one brilliant moment as Vadim smiled a tight, forced smile at her.

"Laura, my sweet." He slowly approached her and traced a finger down her cheek. "I grew to trust you Laura. That is saying a lot really. But you are a cop. A filthy pig and a liar. So tell me - what is your real name?"

Aja jerked her head back from his touch and brought the gun up under his chin. "Back off Vadim. If you try anything-"

"If you think that you can pull the trigger, then go right ahead - AJA. That is your real name, isn't it Aja Cage of the New York City Police Department. You don't have it in you. You're still an innocent." He curled his bony fingers around her wrist and pulled the gun down from his chin.

Aja stifled a gasp as he jerked the gun from her hand, then shifted and pressed it up under her chin. She felt the bite of the muzzle sight into the soft part of her jaw and she had to close her eyes to keep the tears from coming. If she cried now, it was a sign of weakness and what Vadim wanted. Inside she prayed he'd just pull the trigger and get it over with. For the love of sanity she prayed he'd kill her instead of torture her.

"How shall I do this? Hmm, Aja?" He leaned forward against her, pressing her into the harsh chain link fencing as he whispered into her ear. "Shall I just pull the trigger and get your brains and blood all over my clean suit? Perhaps I should give you to the men behind me and let them do what they see fit?"

"Get.." she squeaked out over the muzzle of the gun in her jaw. "Get it over with you son of a bitch."

"Tch, Aja. Such language for a beautiful woman." Vadim stepped back and backhanded her across her face, from her right ear down towards the tip of her nose. "You should never swear. It's positively vulgar coming from such sweet lips." He reached down to where Aja was doubled over and clutching the right side of her face. The sight of blood seeping between her fingers brought a smile to his face. He looked down at the gun in his right hand and saw the blood coating the jagged metal of the hammer.

Aja felt his fingers curl into her hair and firmly pull her upright by her hair. The tears of pain trickling down her cheek stung the open slice on her face from Vadim's backhand. She could feel the blood pouring down her skin, the stinging pain told her that it was cut down to the bone and would leave a scar if she were to get out of this alive. As Vadim pulled her up and looked down at her with loathing in his eyes, she glared back defiantly at him. 'Get it over with already!' she silently challenged him.

Vadim looked down at the gaping and jagged slice that spanned Aja's right cheekbone. Blood was dripping onto her collarbone and he could see a fleck of whitish bone through all the blood and flesh. "Hmm, I think not Aja. You do not die this night. You, my sweet, get to live to see the morning and many days beyond that." He leaned down again to whisper in her ear. "Look in the mirror each day and remember this night… and the lesson, Aja. Never, ever, lie to me"

Aja's head snapped back as Vadim stepped away. There had to be more to it than just leaving her with this soon to be hideous scar across her face. Her whiskey colored eyes widened as she saw him turn and leave the alley… but the men remained. So this was what he meant by learning the lesson. She was going to get the shit beat out of her. At least they wouldn't rape her… that wasn't Vadim's style.

The first punch landed in her stomach, doubling her over as another came down across the bridge of her nose. More blows rained down on her stomach and ribs, her kidneys and her lower back. She was kicked in the back of the knees, bringing her to kneeling in some form in the middle of the group of men. Her lip had long since split and she felt her face swelling up to match the sharp pain in her right side. They'd broken her ribs, she knew it as she felt that same pain shoot through her again. Long before they'd even begun to slow down, Aja was praying for unconsciousness. This was the price she paid for her job. This was the price she paid to protect the people of New York. Not once did she feel anger about it, nor did she feel betrayed by the people either. She did it to protect them, to keep them from suffering this same pain and humiliation.

The last punch knocked her to the ground onto all fours. She felt the refuse of the alley under her hands, thick and slimy garbage that smelled of rotting food and stale alcohol. As she landed on her hands and knees, she felt a piece of glass slice into her palm. One last kick was landed into the soft and swollen part of her abdomen that pitched her over onto her back. The unconsciousness that she'd prayed for when the beating first started came slowly while she watched the men stand over her. For a few minutes she tried to breathe, but the pain from her ribs drew the breaths into short pants.

The last thing Aja remembered was someone lifting her up and a voice whispering in her ear to be quiet and rest. "Help is not coming," the man's voice said as he brushed her hair out of the bloody mess of her face. "You will be lucky if you die before he is done with you."

__

you always wanted people to remember you

to leave your mark on society

well don't you know your wish is coming true today

another victim dies tonight

--

__

Excerpt from the lyrics to "The Game" by Disturbed. CD titled "The Sickness" all rights reserved

****


	2. Wild Card

****

November 2002

"Her record as a FBI Agent was well under way when she took an appointment at the FBI Academy at Quantico. She was supposed to take an instructor's assistant position, but she's since blown various training assignments and landed herself back out in the field on restriction. She can't operate without a partner by order of superiors and she can't keep partners. Cage has the skilled precision of a surgeon in addition to her attitude and demeanor. I can't say she doesn't make mistakes, every rookie does. But she's not a rookie. Most of her mistakes come from her self-doubt."

"What kind of self-doubt Monica?"

"The kind that wound her up in intensive care instead of Rio de Janeiro on her vacation. The plan was for Aja Cage to spend two weeks in Rio before taking the Academy teaching position. Strangely enough she disappeared for days only to be found in a New York hospital under Jane Doe. What exactly happened isn't in her files, it's locked to surface requests. But, I can tell you that she spent two weeks under a doctor's care, the next 6 months under a shrink's care and returned to the Academy a year to the date later than she'd planned. Also, she changed mentally and emotionally." Monica stopped long enough to give Frank a look that spoke volumes of what she meant. She also chanced a look at Jake, Alex and Cody.

Cody immediately began clicking away at his keyboard. Three things happened at once behind Monica. A profile photograph of Agent Aja Cage popped up next to her public dossier on one screen while her department files began running on the next screen in slow motion. The third thing was Cody's laptop. As Aja's information ran for the rest of the team to see, he began hacking into the DoJ files to find whatever he could on Agent Cage.

Jake whistled softly as he watched the photo and the profile tick off slowly. "She's almost like ice. Reminds me of you Frank." What he didn't say was she was beautiful, in a rather dark and gothic sort of way. "She has this look about her, like she's not someone you want to mess with… that she'll make life miserable for you if you do."

"I suppose I should take that as a compliment Jake," Frank deadpanned. "Continue Monica, please?"

"Of course… What you won't see here in these profiles is her hard work and extra dedication before the incident. Aja Cage was a model FBI Undercover Agent on paper. In her early education she mastered different language, including Arabic, Spanish, Italian, Gaelic and Latin. Gaelic and Latin are almost dead languages. The only place Gaelic is spoken is in remote parts of Ireland and the Outer Islands of Scotland and the Highlands. In high school she also took various self-defense and hand to hand combat instructions. The problem came from her intelligence. She's intelligent and her mind works like a steel trap. If there was an alternative solution, chances are she had it already worked out in her mind before needing it. She landed herself a few solo assignments prior to going MIA. During those she earned herself a reputation for being clinical, cold, near ruthless. She developed what the psychologists labeled a 'Machine Mode'. No thought, no emotion, just black and white - get the mission done. However, something happened around the same time as her landing in the hospital, destroyed her confidence. As a result, we have all the transgressions listed behind me."

"She actually took a shot at one of her superiors?" Cody paused, both eyebrows raised curiously as he read the incident report detailing the left hook that landed her on suspension for 6 weeks, another psychiatric evaluation and her superior in the emergency room for a broken nose.

"Unfortunately yes. The witnesses to that particular incident are tightlipped, they won't break the code of silence. Despite everything we're seeing in her files, her co-workers like her enough to stick up for her."

"And it all began after whatever it was that sent her MIA and then landed her into the hospital?" Alex asked as she turned around from the screens.

"Yes. I have the medical reports here. She was admitted to the emergency room at 3 in the morning with severe physical trauma, facial lacerations, a broken jaw and orbital bone and several broken ribs… most of them as a matter of fact."

"Someone beat the shit out of her then." Jake said as he looked over his own copy of the briefing.

"There's more to it than that Jake. She bore signs of torture. Add to that her non-willingness to speak for the few days she was known as a Jane Doe. The only way she was identified was by a random search from the police. I managed to get a copy of the police reports. They say that they were sweeping the hospital in a search for a missing child and one of the beat cops, John Sullivan, recognized her through all the bruises and bandages.

"Get to the point Monica. Why are we being briefed on her?" Frank asked, a little piqued and irritated at the same time.

"We're getting her. Think of it as her last chance."

"Uh huh. So why do I get the feeling there's more to the story?" Alex asked as she closed her file.

Monica chewed her lower lip for a moment and then shrugged. "You'd be right Alex. Agent Cage is putting up a rather loud and public fight to keep from being assigned here with us. Seems she is violently opposed to going back undercover in any sort of form or fashion."

"Why do I get the idea that I'm going to have to go convince this woman that this is the best thing to do?" Frank sighed and threw his pen down onto the desk. "OK, what cases do we have coming up? Is there anything easy enough that we can break her in on while getting her back into the game?"

"The only thing we have that's relatively easy enough is a local prostitution ring that's a front for drug trafficking and arms dealing."

"You call that easy Monica? Why not ask her to crack the Rosetta Stone?" Jake laughed. "Well, I doubt she'll be under her first day out. Frank, are you thinking of putting her with Monica and Cody for the first run?"

"I'm not sure yet." Frank sighed as he closed his copy of the dossier on Cage. There was something that wasn't sitting well with him about this woman. "I want to meet her myself, get a feel for her attitude and temperament before I decide where to put her. She might be totally unsuited for undercover work now. Then again, she might be hiding behind her anger and the psychological scars of what ever happened. Monica, you're sure that it doesn't say anywhere exactly what happened to her to put her into such intensive medical and psychological care for a year?"

"No, nowhere that I could get to. However, I'm sure that Cody's working on that issue and we'll have some answers for you by the time you get back."

"Back? Where is Frank going?"

Monica chuckled. "While I get you two ready to work on this case, Frank is getting a round trip to Quantico to evaluate Agent Cage and bring her back here. Briefing over ladies and gentlemen. Jake, Alex, come with me and I'll get started on your profiles."

Frank nodded to Monica, Jake and Alex, then stood up and returned to his office while deep in thought. Jake had likened this scarred agent to him – cold, clinical, ruthless, not to be messed with. In some small way that bothered him to know that one of his agents thought of him like that. But in another way, he knew that was the way things had to be. As he sat down at his laptop and punched up the files for Agent Cage, he frowned in thought. What could have happened to her to turn her into ice? What was it that she wasn't telling anyone, that no one else was allowed to know about?

He looked into the pair of cognac colored eyes that stared back at him from the laptop screen under heavy black eye makeup. She had short black hair that was cut about chin length, pale skin and those strangely colored eyes. She had a sort of tragic look to her. Did she always look like that or was it from this trauma Monica had spoken of? More importantly, could she get over her haunted past and do her damned job? Frank scanned quickly over her more recent assignment profiles and shook his head. Rookie mistakes as Monica had said, but there was more to it than that. It appeared that she lacked the confidence or fortitude to complete the assignments.

Tough, cold, clinical… frightened. These descriptions did not fit the angry eyes that stared back at Frank from the monitor his laptop. She was fighting some demon, some nightmare. "Damn it this isn't a nursery or a rehab clinic…" he muttered to himself. "She's got to want to get past this and go on with her life and her work." If Aja Cage didn't get past this, she was officially out of the FBI. It was literally her last chance. Frank wasn't sure if he wanted such a wild card on his team. Too many risky things happened with wild cards.

__

i can hear the voice but i don't want to listen

strap me down and tell me i'll be all right

i can feel the subliminal need to be one with the voice

and make everything all right

--

__

Excerpt from the lyrics to "Voices" by Disturbed. CD titled "The Sickness" all rights reserved.

****


	3. Assessments

****

Frank stood watching the woman as she attacked the punching bag with a near pitbull-like ferocity. Her skin was slick with sweat and her black hair, short in the file photos, was hanging in long black ropes from a ponytail as the tips flicked droplets of sweat all over the place. Judging from the saturation of her clothing and hair, she had been working over the hapless bag for quite some time now.

"She always works out like that."

Frank turned to see Snow Pinkett, the physical therapist at the Academy, standing beside him. She was a throw to the Bureau - short spiky black hair shot with blue highlights, heavy eyeliner and a stud in her nose. However, she was one of the best physical therapists in the nation and some of Europe. How the Bureau landed her, Frank had never figured out. Even more to the point, why Snow had come to work for the Bureau Frank had never even tried to guess. "She works herself into a stupor?"

Snow smiled. Frank Donovan had a legendary reputation for both his killer good looks and his killer style of fieldwork. But, she'd never been one to be afraid of reputations. Deep down she felt Frank was a genuine 'Nice Guy' and a heart of gold. "Nope, more like a trance. I've gotten behind the bag when she's mauling it - She never notices if I'm there or not. Her eyes are vacant yet intensely focused. It's as if she's fighting some imaginary demon who's face she's mentally plastered on that punching bag. Eeriest damned thing I've ever seen."

"Has she ever missed her focus and taken it out on someone who interrupts her?" The kind of intensity and tunnel vision that Snow was describing in Aja was dangerous if interrupted.

"No. She's remarkably controlled. I've never seen her take a swing at another agent or one of the staff."

"What about the broken nose of one of her superiors?"

"Oh that." Snow shrugged and led Frank off to the side. "I heard about that. Amazingly enough, Aja and I have kind of formed a friendship. Tentative, yes, but she trusts me and talks to me more than anyone else. Perhaps it's because we're both outsiders after a fashion, hmm?" She winked easily and folded her arms across her stomach. "He was pushing her hard. She's used to hard work and being pushed to the limit by the job. However, this one was pushing her the wrong way."

"How so?" Frank needed to get to the root of that particular problem. He didn't need Aja Cage taking a rounder at him. Jake he could handle, even Alex to an extent, but there was something disconcerting about the possibility of having to 'handle' Agent Cage.

"Goading her. He knew she'd been tortured, but just not how. More than once he backed her up against a wall and got into her face. He said he was trying to get through to her, to break her out of that shell she'd put up and retreated into."

Frank groaned and shook his head. That was no way to reach a shell-shocked torture victim. When they're ready, they come out on their own. The trick is to know when to back off and when to be there and in their face ready to support them when they did decide to shake off the pain and the past. "He pushed too far one day, didn't he?"

"You got it Agent Donovan. He got his hand up in her face and made to grasp her throat. Before anyone could blink, she brought her knee up into his stomach, her elbow down across the back of his neck when he doubled over and then she lifted him up and finished with a right hook across his nose. He's lucky she didn't try to kill him for his efforts."

"I would have to agree with you on that point, Snow. So it was after that she was forced under psychiatric care?"

"Yes. The Director and a few others felt it would be more beneficial to find out what was going on in that mind of hers."

"They didn't succeed."

Frank and Snow looked up to see a soaking wet Aja standing in front of them, her boxing gloved hands hanging loosely at her sides as she lightly heaved for breath. Frank watched as she slid those strangely colored eyes from Snow to him, then back to Snow. Agent Cage was apparently assessing him and his conversation with Snow.

Aja's eyes narrowed slightly as she looked at the tall man who'd been speaking with Snow. This had to be Agent Donovan come to give her the once over to see if she was fit for duty in his unit. "Something you'd like to ask me, Agent Donovan?"

Frank raised one eyebrow slowly. She got right to the point and she was near clairvoyant if she was reading that he was dying to ask about her own fitness for duty. "Perhaps."

"Then do kindly have the testicular fortitude to come to me and ask it. Please do not go to someone else and get second hand information."

"Aja, please. You were busy and we did not want to interrupt you."

"Snow, your intentions are good, but you suck at lying. You've interrupted me before for less than this." Aja half smiled and turned around. She walked over to the smaller sparring bag that was anchored to the floor and a steel rafter beam. Giving it a hard thwack, she proceeded to bob and weave, punching and jabbing at it as if she were training for the Golden Gloves ring. "So, ask."

Frank blinked for a second, unsure if she'd actually spoken to him or not. She didn't appear to be the cold-blooded and ruthless wild card that Monica and the personnel jacket had painted her as. In need of exorcising some demons, sure, but not a loose cannon. "I wanted to know why you are so adamantly opposed to going back into undercover fieldwork."

Aja stood up straight, catching the sparring ball easily. She looked down a moment as if trying to gauge what would be the best response. He wanted HER take on whether or not she felt she was fit to serve. Sneaky bastard… "It's not that I'm opposed to going back into undercover fieldwork, Agent Donovan." She turned around and gave him an open and honest look. "I object to being put into a position that someone else's life could ride on a decision I make. My own life is fine to gamble with. I will not gamble with another agent's life."

"Why?" It was an admirable objection, one he had on more than one occasion. However, she didn't get a say in things such as that. She had to deal with the hand given her.

Aja licked her teeth for a moment, then put her still-gloved hands on her hips. "Because of my last undercover assignment, a New York cop is dead. I had to look at his wife and daughter at the funeral and see what my mistake caused."

Frank nodded carefully. "An admirable objection Agent Cage. But you don't get to make those decisions. I've been where you are and I can honestly tell you this - it's all about how you handle what is thrown at you. Are you going to let those saddened faces haunt you for the rest of your life? Or are you going to do something about it so that no more families have to mourn for the loss of their loved ones?"

Aja bristled and stood up straight, her hands falling back to her sides. He might as well have come right out and called her a coward. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Snow inching away a few feet before she outright turned and departed Donovan and her presence.

"You object to my assessment of your statement?" Frank had to fight to keep his mouth from quirking into a grin. He could see the reaction his goad had in her. He'd veiled the jab under philosophical words, but in essence he called her an outright coward for not getting back into the line of duty and getting past her demons. Now, to see if she did something about it. He watched her carefully for any signs of a physical attack from her.

None came. Aja blinked, then looked down. "I'm no coward, Agent Donovan. But there are things you do not know or understand. I do not think I would be a good addition to your team."

"Then give me a better reason why Agent Cage." Frank stepped closer so he could put his mouth close to her ear. "Because if you cannot, then you will find yourself and your luggage on a plane to Chicago before the night is out."

Aja looked up at him. He was near enough to touch her, but he still kept an air of distance about him. For a blessed few moments she watched him, taking a silent assessment of him. A woman would have to be blind to not see how handsome he was. And a woman would have to be a complete and utter idiot to let her emotions rule when it came to dealing with him. He was cold, controlled, and authoritative. He also had an air of superiority when it came to dealing with field agents. He looked like he owned you when he peered into your eyes. For a moment she just stared open-mouthed as she looked at him. Aja could also feel the chilling darkness that had touched him. It was the same darkness that she'd lived in for the past years. She hated that darkness.

Frank watched as Aja Cage gave him a deeper scrutiny. She kept a respectable distance from him despite their nearness. She was different, there was something deeper down that was fighting to break free. He could see she would be a stellar agent if she ever managed to get herself past whatever demons were killing her slowly. Now more than before he felt he had to help her. This was her last chance to make it in the FBI and if he didn't help her, she would be out. Such a loss would be devastating to both her and the Bureau. How he knew this, he had no idea. Perhaps he could see it through the darkness that wrapped around her like a smothering blanket. He'd lived that darkness more times than he cared to count, but it was different with her. What had happened to her that broke her spirit?

After a few minutes, it was Aja who finally broke the silence. "Agent Donovan…" her voice whispered. "Can you look hell in the eye?" She raised her eyes back up to his and looked fully into the mysterious brown depths. "Can you teach me to live with the past and what's happened to me?"

"Only if you want to, Agent Cage." His voice was an equally soft whisper. Frank felt himself becoming rather fond of this agent in just the few minutes he'd spent talking with her. She reminded him of himself when he first started out. "Most of what you need to know how to do will come from your own desire to conquer your own hell. The question I have for you is this - will you ever admit to someone else what your hell is?"

Aja sucked in a soft breath as he stepped back from her. She looked plainly into his face and saw no deception. He would help her - if she helped herself. Her own question was would she be able to trust him enough with that fight? Could she ever trust him with the knowledge of what Vadim had done to her mind and body?

how do you live without playing the game,

sit on the side and expect to keep sane?

step right up and be a part of the action

come get a piece of it before it's too late

--

__

Excerpt from the lyrics to "Violence Fetish" by Disturbed. CD titled "The Sickness" all rights reserved.

****


	4. Help Out or Get Out

****

"Can we talk?"

Frank looked up to see Monica standing in the doorway to his office.  "Sure.  What's on your mind Monica?"

Monica looked around, then closed the door before sitting down.  "I'm worried about our newest recruit."

"Don't be."

Both of her eyebrows raised and she gave her boss an incredulous look.  "Don't worry about Agent Cage?"

"What part of that did you not understand Monica?  I talked with her, I got a feel for her.  I think she'll be a good addition to the team."

"When…?"

"When?"

"Yeah, as in WHEN will she be a good addition to the team?  Because right now all she's doing in scowling and ignoring all three of us.  Cody and I are working on the information that Alex and Jake are bringing in for us and the very least she could do is get current on the file!"

Frank blinked.  The last time he'd heard this kind of hostility from Monica was the dirty cop case a while back.  "Calm down Monica.  Look, give her more than two days.  She's still adjusting.  Think about it – Everything she knows is back in Virginia.  She's here, in the Crib, no home of her own and no personal belongings other than a suitcase of clothing and other items for a sleep over.  She didn't want to be here in the first place and we've essentially forced her into a position she didn't want to be in.  Give her a bit more of a break, will you?"

Monica rolled her eyes and sat back in the chair.  "It's more than that."

"What else is it?"  He leaned forward and braced his elbows on the desk.  

"She's… I don't know.  She's different.  Jake, he's got an attitude problem and an authority problem.  Alex… has issues of her own.  You… have a superiority complex a mile wide.  Cody… is Cody.  I got a grip on all four of you within the first five minutes and got your mindset down pat within 5 days.  But this woman?  She's cold, locked away.  One minute she's human and the next minute she's a machine."

"But you yourself told us she'd developed a machine mode.  Every field agent has that safety zone that they put up to protect their own sanity."

"Is that what she's doing?"

Frank opened his mouth to speak, but thought about it for a moment.  Was she nuts or protecting what was left of her sanity?  "I wish I knew what she was doing Monica.  It's going to take some time to get used to her."

"Time is something we don't have Frank.  If she doesn't start acting like part of the team, then she could be our downfall.  We're a team, we have to act like it and watch out for each other.  Cody and I watch out for Alex and Jake, they watch for each other, you… somehow… oddly enough, keep an eye on us all."

Frank nodded as Monica got up and left his office.  Monica was right – Agent Cage would have to come around and do it soon.  It took everyone else a few months to warm up to him and it was difficult in that time period.  Eventually they learned to trust in him and to trust his decisions.  He in turn learned to trust them as well.  That took time and he was asking - no, forcing - Cage to do that in just a few days.  It was a near impossible undertaking.

He stood up and looked out of the window behind his desk.  Cody had left early already and Monica was just now leaving.  That left him and Aja alone in the Nest.  Troubling thoughts plagued him when it came to Cage.  Folding one arm across his chest and popping his other thumb between his front teeth and thought about it more.  Why did he have the strange and nagging urge to watch her constantly?  True, he'd promised to help her battle her inner demons.  But that didn't entail getting personal.  The last thing he wanted was to wind up in a situation like Alex and Keller.

'Hmph'-ing to himself, Frank turned and headed down the stairs.  His intention was to leave for the night and give Cage some space.  But the sounds coming from the gym gave him pause to stop and listen.  She was at it again, mauling the punching bag as if fighting for her life.  Leaning against the doorway, Frank watched her.

She balanced easily on the balls of her feet, light steps and motions.  Tell-tale signs of someone who's agile, quick and decisive in their actions.  He watched her closely, mesmerized by her movements.  They were graceful in their lethal flow.  Sort of like a cobra's sway before he struck…  Without realizing he was doing it, he drifted in to just behind her.

Aja had been focused on the punching bag - this time with Frank Donovan's face on it instead of Vadim's.  He'd been grating on her nerves the last day or so, always watching her like a hawk.  She couldn't even burp without him seeing it.  _'Bastard.  You've got no right to look at me that way.'  Where did that thought come from?  Aja paused a brief second as she thought it over.  When did she think things like that?  With another snarl, she renewed her vicious attack on the bag.  But the hackles on the back of her neck started to rise.  Someone was there._

Frank had almost missed the switch in momentum.  However, he snapped back out of his reverie in time to see an elbow thrown at his head.  He dodged to the side, his hands coming out and shoving Aja into the bag in front of her.  "Stop Cage!"

Aja whirled around after she bounced off the bag.  It was on now. The bastard decided to sneak up on her, then had the balls to tell her to stop?  She angled back, shifting her left side forward as she put her heavily taped hands up in front of her.

"Agent Cage, stop it right now."  Frank reached for her shoulders intending to shake her out of it.  It appeared to him that she was still 'In The Zone' of her workout and hadn't distinguished him from whatever demon she was pummeling.  But as he connected with her shoulders, Aja dropped her hands and wrapped them around his wrists.  She hooked an ankle behind his knee, ducking and twisting at the same time.  In a matter of seconds, Frank found himself on the floor, Aja's grip around his wrists as he looked up at her and her foot pressing down on his throat.

Aja smirked at the astonished look on Donovan's face.  He hadn't expected her attack and looked a slight bit embarrassed over it.  However, in her gloating, Aja missed Frank's long fingers curling around her wrists before she was jerked over his head.  Her breath was crushed out of her chest when she landed on the floor with a hollow thud, her breath further cut off by Frank Donovan sitting on her chest.  She snarled up at him, struggling to get her hands free of his steely grip.

"Settle down Cage.  I'm not moving until I know you're in the real world and not fighting some inner demon."

"Fuck you Donovan."

"No thank you Cage."  He smirked and leaned down until his mouth was an inch from her.  His lips curled as she froze under him.  "You're just not my style."

Aja's vision filled with a red haze as his words filled her ears.  For some inexplicable reason his taunt hurt.  She wasn't angry as much as her feelings were hurt.  Tears filmed over her eyes, blurring her vision to Frank getting up and hauling her up fluidly.

"I don't want to have this 'discussion' again Cage.  I've had some complaints that you're not taking part in the work around here.  We've got an assignment that is very dangerous.  Perhaps you remember what it was like undercover?  Alex and Jake are counting on us to help them with this and keep them safe.  I expect you to help with that.  If you can't, then get the hell out of my Nest."  Frank turned on his heel and left.  He shouldn't have even gotten that close to her.  The salty scent of the sweat on her skin was beginning to burn into his mind.  It was also burning elsewhere.  What the hell was he thinking?

He didn't… He just… Aja gaped after him as he left.  How dare he come in here, interrupt her, taunt her, then slap her in the face verbally.  That bastard was the one who forced her into this job and now he had the gall to tell her to shape up or get out?  Aja snarled in frustration, ripping a left hook at the punching back as Frank left the gym. One of these days she was going to get him alone…

_let out the beast_

_that you're trying to hide_

_step right up and be a part of the reaction_

_get your game face on because it's time to play_

--

_Excerpt from the lyrics to "Violence Fetish" by Disturbed.  CD titled "The Sickness" all rights reserved._

****


	5. Flashback

****

Aja watched apathetically as Monica gave Frank a briefing on Alex and Jake's activities. She didn't want to be here, she didn't need to be here. Donovan should just let her go back to Quantico and be done with it. Absently she snapped the gum she had been chewing.

"Are we bothering you, Agent Cage?"

Aja looked up at the disdainful voice to see Monica watching her expectantly. For a moment she didn't know what to say. "N-no." she said quietly.

"Then pay attention. You're on this case too."

Aja grumbled and sat forward, taking one of the reports out of the file jacket in front of her. As she read over it briefly, Alex and Jake came back in. She gave them a cursory glance as she kept reading the file. All of this was familiar for some reason… like she should know it personally. Surely it had to be her mind playing games on her.

"We got some problems."

"What kind of problems Alex?"

"The second in command of the outfit. He's a nasty S.O.B." Jake put in. "He's mean, very touchy and extremely hesitant to even talk to the both of us. It's like he's been burned before."

"Yeah," Alex agreed. "Pale, pastey, very evil feeling when I get close to him. And he watches me a little too closely when I'm talking."

Aja sighed heavily and got up, the file jacket in her hand. Frank watched her get up and begin to pace the small room, absorbed in the report. He watched her closely, half-listening to Alex and Jake. He had to be careful, treading this fine line - part of him watched her just to watch the way she walked… the other part of him watched her to see her reaction, to gauge an assessment, to see what her mind was drawing in conclusion.

Aja's eyes narrowed slightly as she paused in mid-pace and flipped the pages. This guy's behavior seemed so damned familiar… Who was he? She slid the report back into the jacket and shuffled pages until she came up with a photo. "oh… fuck…" she whispered…

Frank held up a hand for them to be silent as he slowly stood up. He hadn't missed Aja's nearly silent swearing, or the fact that she was frozen on the spot. Very slowly and cautiously he walked up behind her. She was shaking, bad enough to make the photo in her hand rattle softly. He peered over her shoulder at the file. It was the man that Alex was talking about. He paused a moment and reasoned things out. Aja Cage knew this man somehow, knew him well enough to be terrified it seemed. "Aja," he whispered.

Aja felt herself shaking, her eyes glued to Vadim's image in her hand. Vadim… His vile touch came back to her, the acid in his voice, the screams…. Screams echoed in her head, his eyes floating evilly before her…

Frank backed up as she started to shake even harder, almost twitching. Her breath was coming in gasps. He moved around in front of her, leaning down slightly to look into her face. Her eyes were distant and wide, pupils dilated. Her mouth was slightly open, and he could hear her shaky breaths. Every now and then there was a soft, very soft gasp. Tentatively he reached out towards her, his fingers reaching towards the pulse in her throat. It looked like she was experiencing a repressed memory. She HAD to know this man.

All of a sudden Aja's vision cleared and she saw a hand reaching towards her. She shrieked, the file dropping out of her hands and scattering across the floor. One hand came up and knocked Frank's to the side as she skittered back away from him. "NO!!" she screamed as he stepped closer and reached for her wrist again.

"Frank, stop it," Monica ordered as she bolted up out of her seat and ran over to where Aja was. "She's in the middle of reliving a psychological trauma. Leave her alone until she can recognize you."

"I know that!" he snapped back. Slowly he bent down and picked up the file, keeping the photo on top. It bothered him that he couldn't help Aja, but it scared him also that she didn't recognize him. All he wanted to do was help her. Slowly he stood up, watching her intently.

Monica stood back, motioning for Alex and Jake to sit down too. Cody walked through the doors with his arms full of a box of equipment only to see Aja supposedly squaring off against Frank.

"What now?" he asked quietly. Alex and Jake just shook their heads and helped him unload the box from his arms.

"Aja… listen to me." Frank said quietly. He kept advancing on her slowly, non-threateningly as she backed up. Finally she stopped, her back up against the wall. He kept a foot away from her, but moved so he blocked out everyone else. "Aja, do you recognize this man?" 

Aja's head twitched slightly, her hands plucking nervously at the hem of her shirt. She saw the photo that Donovan held up. It was Vadim. "No." she said quietly. So quietly that Frank wasn't sure if he'd heard her.

"I think you do. Tell me again - Do you know this man?" He pushed the photo closer to her. Frank intentionally kept his voice calm and cool, soothing at least. He couldn't afford to be aggressive of confrontational. He'd lose her that way.

Aja recoiled, turning her head to the side. "I SAID NO DAMN IT! I don't know him." _'Please, stop!! Don't make me look at his face again, I can't bear to look at his face again…'_ She wanted someone to put their arms around her, not push her against a wall and force her to remember.

"Damn it Aja!" Frank slammed the file down on the table next to them both. The noise echoed in the Nest, causing everyone to jump and Aja to clamp her hands over her ears. He watched as her eyes squeezed shut against tears that had come. "You're not helping us any." He grasped her wrists and held them tightly, pulling her hands down from her ears. "If you know this man, then you can help Alex and Jake! Tell me!" The pain on her face was ripping at him, but he had to get it out of her, had to get her to admit to knowing this man. Good God all he wanted was to hold her tightly and shush her tears… but she didn't need coddling, she needed to fight back, to fight for herself.

"No," she shook her head. "No, I don't know him. Let it go Donovan." Her voice broke in several places and she had to fight to keep from shaking.

Frank stood back, letting go of her hands to watch them twitch and flick like a meth addict coming down off of a good high. She kept her head turned away, unable or unwilling to look at the photograph again. "Bull. Aja-" he shoved the photo in front of her face. "Look again. I know that you know him. You're lying to me. Aja," he moved and got into her face again. "Don't… DON'T turn away from me Aja! AJA!"

"I… stop… stop it…Stop it Frank, stop it… I'm not lying, I don't know him!"

"God damn it Aja STOP LYING! Don't lie to me about this Aja!" Frank snarled and shoved her up against the wall. "Your pulse is racing, your pupils are dilated, your breath is shallow and rapid. You're lying to me, I don't like liars."

Aja yelped, then slid slowly down the wall. _'I trusted you and you lied to me!! NEVER FUCKING LIE TO ME!'_ "Stop… no more…" she whispered softly. "Please… stop…"

Alex and Jake both grabbed hold of Frank and pulled him back. He'd been about to reach down and haul her up, but Aja wasn't Aja anymore. She was somewhere else, talking to someone else. "Give it up Frank. She's regressing further back. Leave her alone. Come on…" Jake pulled Frank back while Alex and Monica gathered up Aja and led her to the crib.

"Jesus Frank, what the hell happened to her?"

"That's something only she knows Jake." Frank shook his head and threw the file across the room. His own actions disgusted him. All he'd wanted, tried, to do was help her. Instead he wound up hurting her, possibly even pushing her further away. Shoving her against the wall disgusted him the most. How could he have done that to her? "Jesus Christ…" He ran everything back in his head. She was fine until she saw the picture of the man known only as Vadim within the organization. She knew him, he could read it in her eyes. She was terrified of him. "He did it to her, whatever it was." He held up the photograph. Never before had such a seething hatred for a suspect ever taken root in his mind. This one was different. "He's responsible for what happened to her."

yeah, you have created a rift with me

there've been several complications

and i'm left with feeling nothing

i might say you were wrong to take it from me

left me feeling nothing

--

__

Excerpt from the lyrics to "Numb" by Disturbed. CD titled "The Sickness" all rights reserved.

****


	6. Too Close

****

Frank continued to watch and observe Aja the next day and subsequent days after that. She in turn kept watching him as if gun shy of another attack from him. It broke a part of him to think that he'd caused that reaction in her. Even more than that was the question now formed in his mind. Did she react that way because he pushed her to tell the truth… or did she react that way because she'd grown to trust him and he'd now broken that trust? Too many times in the days following the confrontation, he'd approached her and tried to speak with her about it only to have her sharply and vocally tell him to sod off or go to hell. She grew more and more distant at the briefings, staying inside of herself and refraining from adding her own opinions.

He dropped his pen on the desk and leaned back in the chair. Several times he'd seen Aja take the file jacket and disappear into another room. It was Cody or Monica that followed her to try and bring her back to the group. Usually the overtone was met with a snarl and a boot out of the room. When she came out of the privacy of the room, she had a very thoughtful look on her face until she'd see Frank.

His forehead furrowed as he remembered earlier that day and the same incident. She came out of the gym with her nose buried in the papers. She blindly bumped into Cody, only looking up to smile and apologize. Aja seemed better today, more open and outgoing with Monica and Cody. She did at least until she saw him watching her. Frank could literally see the veil fall across her eyes and the smile she gifted Cody with disappeared into a mask of non-expression. The two of them stared at each other for a few moments until she looked down and then away. The feeling he had when she shook her head and walk away was … he couldn't describe it. Why should it be so personal all of a sudden with this woman?

"How much longer is she going to act like this?"

Frank looked over his shoulder at Jake. "What do you mean?"

"Come on Frank. She's all sweetness and light until she sees you. It's got to be because of the photo the other day."

"And if it is? Look Jake, Aja will come back around when she realizes that what she knows is important to your safety as well as Alex's."

"Whatever Frank. She's going to get someone hurt with that attitude." Jake shook his head and moved off towards the door. He had to meet Alex in an hour.

Frank watched him go for a moment, thinking over what Jake had said. He turned around, picking up the pen to twist and twirl it between his fingers. His eyes fell on Aja as she stood reading the file. With a soft snort and a lift of one eyebrow, Frank tossed the pen onto the file he was working on and stood up. "Agent Cage. Come with me."

Aja's head snapped up. He was ordering her to follow him? She snapped the file closed, gave him a 'fuck off' look and then pushed off of the wall to follow him into the gym. Once the doors were closed, she dropped the file onto the nearest bench and put her hands on her hips. "You bellowed?"

"Cut the crap Cage. Whatever issues you have with me, don't take them out on the rest of the team."

"And if I don't?"

Frank got an inch from her and glared down. "You don't want to know. I'm serious Cage. Lose the attitude."

Aja's breath caught in her throat a scant moment before she smirked and looked up into his scowling face. "What're you going to do, spank me?" she whispered. The look of surprise that came over his face was well worth the risk of a disciplinary writ in her file.

"I might." Frank growled softly, his nose almost touching hers. "There comes a time when a spoiled child needs the strap of a belt across their backside. You remind me of that spoiled child Cage." He swept his gaze over Aja's face while he waited to hear her answer.

Aja swallowed, tilting her head up. Her lips were a hair's breath from his. All she had to do was lift her chin and she'd brush his lips. "What's this really about?" she whispered.

"You." _'More to the point, what I'd like to do to you. Jesus Aja you're too close right now…'_ Frank swallowed the lump in his throat, extremely careful not to move or lower his head. Just another breath and his lips would contact hers. This wasn't what he'd had in mind when he'd called her in here. Clearing his throat softly, Frank spoke up again. "I meant what I said. Lose the attitude towards the team. If you have a problem with me, then you take your frustration out on me, not them."

__

'Christ Donovan, if we were only alone… I'd show you how to take out frustrations…' "You're too close Donovan." Aja had heard the firm tone to his voice and knew the command was back. But, Aja had an edict of her own to deliver. "You don't even know what you do to me. I-"

"What I do to you? Tell me Aja, what do I do to you?" Despite his inner resolve to remain distant, he knew he was lost. Somehow, some way, Frank Donovan's 'Ice Man' reputation had fallen to the tragic Aja Cage.

Aja blinked. She didn't just hear him ask her that… did she? Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes then backed up from him. Her head lowered a bit as she tried to even out her breathing. "You give me nightmares."

The words were just barely more than a whisper and Frank wasn't sure that he'd heard her correctly. 'You give me nightmares.' Frank felt himself wanting to lift her chin to see if she was being honest or trying to goad him into another confrontation. "Aja…"

"No, Frank." Aja looked up. "You're causing nightmares and memories I haven't had in years. Please, stop torturing me. Every time I see you, you're pushing me about this or that or something else. You don't even have to speak to me and I feel suffocated. I'm begging you, stop this." She pleaded with him silently. However, when he closed the short distance between them and backed her up against the wall, she involuntarily let out a soft gasp. He was literally pinning her to the wall with his body.

Frank instantly regretted his actions. Aja's body was pressed against his and he was painfully aware of it. "Don't you ever do that again."

The fierceness of his growled out words stunned Aja. "Do… do what?" As she looked up at him, she found her mouth a mere breath from his once more.

"Beg."

She felt his eyes as they held hers. For a brief insane moment Aja considered lifting her chin. But before she could, she felt him step back from her. She watched, in a trance almost, as he stalked out of the gym. A soft 'Oh God' escaped her lips as she bent forward and braced her hands on her knees to suck in desperate breaths. She hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath.

Frank briskly passed Cody and Monica on his way up to his office. He had tunnel vision and all he could see was Aja's eyes as he closed the door to his office. He let out the breath he had been holding as he put one hand on the doorframe and leaned against it. He hadn't been thinking when he'd gotten close to Aja the second time. What the hell was he doing?

__

your mind won't let you say that you're

wondering now, pondering now, hungering

--

__

Excerpt from the lyrics to "Want" by Disturbed. CD titled "The Sickness" all rights reserved.

****


	7. Nightmare Alley

****

_Aja looked up at the bright light over her head.  She'd lost feeling in her fingertips hours ago with the blood drain.  How long had she been in this position, her arms held in antique shackles over her head by a chain?  Jesus it felt like her shoulders were beginning to pull out of the joints.  She groaned softly and rolled her head forward, her eyes closing against the nuisance of it all.  So far they hadn't started torturing her… yet.  All they'd succeeded in doing was beating the shit out of her.  _

_Softly she chuckled to herself.  Instantly she hissed and shut up as a lance of pain shot through her ribs… they felt broken.  It wouldn't surprise her a bit if they were.  The bastards did a good enough job kicking her while she was down on the ground.  How long had they beaten her after she was unconscious?  Aja kept her head rolled back and facing up into the bright light over her head.  She couldn't see out of one eye and exhaustion kept the other closed.  If only she could sleep for a few minutes without being interrupted…_

_Vaguely she heard a door opening and closing and footsteps leading up to where she was hanging.  A pair of hands prodded her in the stomach and began to roam over her body.  Aja felt the bile rising in her throat at the very thought of Vadim's dogs touching her that way.  One by one her thigh high boots were removed and she heard them tossed aside.  Again the hands roamed her legs, inside her thighs. If she reacted or tried to shy away from their touches, this person would then take great pleasure in touching her again and again.  What she only opened her eyes for was the cold press of a knife against her hip, then the ripping sound that split her tight mini dress.  She watched blandly as the little man in front of her turned towards Vadim.  Behind them both on the floor, her dress lay next to her boots._

_'Get it over with damn you.  Just do what you will and then kill me.' She groaned silently.  But this was part of the torture, to annoy her endlessly with minute little irritations.  Deny her of sleep or rest, food and water… smack her around just enough to keep the pain of her more serious injuries fresh and irritating, keep the lacerations open and the breaks from beginning to heal.  So far they'd kept her in a cold room.  She hated the cold.  Involuntarily she shivered now and again without the meager warmth of the dress or the warm leather of her boots._

_Vadim and his associate left her bikini panties on.  So sexual violation was out.  Aja shook her head, rape wasn't his style and he gave the strictest orders under the strictest punishments that his men were not to rape the women.  Through a slitted eye, she could see that the other man now stood up on a stepstool in front of her to reach something.  He was… Korean?  Vietnamese?  She could smell the body odor on him and recoiled from it._

_The light above her was so bright she couldn't see anything except dim shadows in front of her.  She heard a squeaky twist and then felt an icy drop hit her fingers.  'Oh Jesus….' she thought.  'Electrocution… Mother fucker…'  Her eye opened wider as she felt the water drizzle down over her fingers, drip down her arms and chest, then trickle down her waist and thighs.  Instinctively she drew her legs together, crossing her ankles demurely.  That brought a laugh from the two men in front of her._

_"Tell me what I need to know." Vadim said. _

_"Water and electricity very painful." The little Oriental man said_

_Aja just smiled icily at him and closed her eyes.  "Best get on with it then.  I haven't got all day."_

_Vadim laughed and said something to the man.  Almost immediately she heard a generator cranking to life even as she felt the water coursing down over her body even more, drenching her to the bone.  In combination with her near nakedness of only her panties, the icy cold water and the cold air in the room were enough to torture her.  She hated being cold._

_"Something small for first time, you'll talk then.  We'll stop if you tell us something we want to hear.."_

_She opened her eyes and sighed.  As if giving them the signal to start, she rolled her head back and looked into the brightness of the light overhead.  It seemed to multiply tenfold with the first touch of the soaked sponges gripped in the jumper cables to her stomach.  Aja's body jerked, the muscles of her back and legs contracting with a dull throbbing.  The electricity wasn't enough to damage her seriously.  It essentially felt like an all over dull throbbing, but all of her muscles contracting at once were near excruciating.  Ten times worse were her neck and jaw muscles contracting too.  Her teeth ground together with the strain._

_She felt the sponges removed and heard the chattering again.  Was that her teeth chattering from the cold?  She couldn't tell, it was all hazy now…_

_"Tell me what I want to know, Aja.  Or the next time will be more painful with more electricity."_

_Aja pulled her head forward slowly, feeling the throb still in her neck, back and legs.  Her mouth had filled with water, which she spit at the two men.  "OK… you're ugly.  No?  Well, is that all you've got boy?" she tossed into Vadim's face._

_She watched as anger lit his eyes and he instructed the operator to push up the power.  The hum increased three-fold and she watched as he reached out to touch her stomach again with the sponge pads.  This time the throb shook her entire body, the muscles convulsing and contracting almost violently as a hiss escaped through her teeth.  Aja growled and her eyes squeezed shut.  Drawing upon what willpower she could summon, she brought her feet up swiftly and kicked the little man under the chin._

_The waves of electricity ceased mercifully as she heard a crack of teeth crashing against teeth and a soft thud of a body hitting the floor.  For a few moments Aja hung there, wet, freezing, electrocuted and near naked, gasping for breath and nearly giggling at kicking the man hard enough to break his jaw._

_"Not too smart bitch." Vadim growled hatefully.  "He was on your side actually, didn't like the thought of torturing a woman.  Old man, treats women with soft gloves.  Now I get to play with you."_

_"Oh sod off pipsqueak," she ground out softly, a demonic light in her eyes.  "Get on with it."_

_He laughed and slid on the heavy-duty rubber gloves.  He never took his eyes off of her as he reached down and turned the dial up.  He watched her whiskey eyes follow the dial and narrow slightly as he multiplied it by ten.  Still watching her, he reached down and picked up the two sponges still clamped firmly between the copper metal jaws of the red and black jumper cables._

_"Do your worst you son of a bitch," she hissed.  The hiss turned to a clenched scream as he pushed the sponges up against either side of her ribcage.  Electricity poured through her chest and stomach, radiating out and down her legs and arms.  She felt her body convulse violently, the chains suspending her rattling noisily.  Over and over again he put the sponges to her, giggling like a schoolboy each time she bit down on a scream or growled out a threat of bodily violence against him once she got loose._

_It went on and on.  Aja swore it was for hours.  Each time he put the sponges to her, she felt less and less pain.  Contrary to popular misconception, the pain does not increase with more electrocution – it decreases.  The victim gets to the point where they can not feel anymore and more is needed to make them feel pain.  However, the body still suffered the damage to the muscle and bone from extremely violent muscle contraction, twisting the body out of it's proper form and straining the body all-together.  If enough electricity was used, the organs were cooked and eventually the heart burst from extreme muscular contraction.  Electrocution was a horrible way to die.  But Vadim wasn't using enough electricity to kill her… not in one dose.  It'd take a long time to kill her this way and she'd suffer hell on earth while he did it._

_The man growled in frustration as he put her to the sponges again and again.  He'd been doing this now for 20 minutes and she had yet to talk.  She hadn't even screamed.  "TELL ME!" he shouted over and over, only to receive a snarl or a hiss through clenched teeth.  "TELL ME DAMN YOU!"_

_Aja opened her eyes, blinking a few times to clear the water out of her eyes that had dripped down her forehead.  She saw the red and black blotches on her stomach, ribs, thighs and hips.  Her vision was blurring in and out and she couldn't draw a deep breath.  If this was hell… she chuckled slowly.  Lifting her head slowly with what strength she had left, Aja eyed Vadim as he stood in front of her as his eyes bulged out of their sockets in frustration and anger.  Her tongue ran around the insides of her mouth and she felt the cuts where she'd bitten down on the soft flesh of her mouth.  Her eyes narrowed and she spit at him, a fine spray of saliva and blood covering his face as she growled out, "Go… to… Hell."_

_Vadim's eyes squinted in outrage and he reached over to the knob, twisting it around as high as the output would go.  With a fierce snarl, he jabbed the soaking wet sponges up against her stomach, pressing them there longer then necessary – even as her body swung and convulsed away from it.  "This is what we do to undercover cops!" he screamed.  "I loved you Aja."  He kept jabbing the sponges at her each time her body swung towards him.  "I trusted you and you lied to me!!  NEVER FUCKING LIE TO ME!"_

_An ear-splitting scream rent the air in the room as he shoved them against her ribs and held them there instead of pulling back.  It echoed over the maddening drip-drip-drip of the water, the harsh jangling of the chains and the electronic hum of the generator.  Aja felt like her blood was going to burst through the top of her skull and her heart pounded in her chest as blackness swept up on her.  She would die, she knew it as much as she knew that her secrets would die with her._

Aja sat straight up in the narrow bed she had been sleeping in.  Her ears still echoed with the scream from her nightmare as the darkness.  As she tried to catch her breath, she began to sob.  She hadn't relived that nightmare in years…

_out of your mouth_

_up from your mind_

_that kind of thinking starts a chain reaction_

_you are a time bomb ticking away_

_you need to release what you're feeling inside_

_let out the beast that you're trying to hide _

--

_Excerpt from the lyrics to "Violence Fetish" by Disturbed.  CD titled "The Sickness" all rights reserved._

****


	8. Confessions Of A Wounded Soul

****

Frank had heard some noise downstairs in the 'crib' as Monica called it.  The only other person here in the Nest this late at night besides him was Aja.  Alex and Jake were back out on their assignments and Monica and Cody were at home in their own beds.  As he walked down the stairs to see what was going on, he heard a blood curdling scream coming from the crib.  Drawing his gun, he literally took the rest of the stairs two at a time and ran through the darkened building until he heard sobbing.  He peeked around the corner cautiously, checking to make sure that he and Aja were truly alone.

Aja curled up on her side, her knees drawing up to her forehead as she hugged herself.  What was Frank Donovan doing to her?  He was bringing the nightmares back with this assignment.  She shouldn't be here, she should be back in Quantico on a desk assignment, away from him… shouldn't she?  She remembered the thrill of the hunt, what it was like out in the field.  It was a rush, but a desk assignment was safe.  She needed safe now.  She wasn't the same anymore, Vadim had broken her…

Frank saw her shaking as he quietly approached her cot.  It tugged at him to see her like this, but she needed to get past whatever it was that was killing her spirit.  In the first few days he'd seen that spirit rise only to be yanked behind the dead and lifeless shell that Aja Cage had put up.  And then there was the photograph earlier in the week.  The one she vehemently denied knowing who it was, but truthfully did.  If only he could get her to admit it, to open up.  Carefully he kneeled down in front of her and watched.  He watched her shiver so badly that the entire bed shook.  Knowing he could not do what he wanted almost desperately to do, he picked up the blanket and laid it gently over her.

Aja startled, then looked up.  She hadn't heard him come in.  "What do you want?" she sighed.  After the nightmare, Aja didn't want yet another confrontation with Frank.  In the days that followed the photograph incident, Aja kept finding herself wanting to go to Frank, tell him it was all right, that she was all right.  But stubborn pride and anger prevented her from doing just that.

Frank's first inclination was to stand up and walk the hell out.  If she wanted to be childish and confrontational, then so be it.  But he took one look at her eyes and changed his mind.  She was still terrified and no matter how much he wanted to walk out, he couldn't.  "How about you and I have a conversation instead of a shouting match, hmm Aja?"  When she didn't come right back with a sharp cut or jibe, he pulled up a chair and sat down.  "I was upstairs when I heard you.  What did you dream of that made you scream so terribly?"

Aja watched him for a moment, then shook her head and sat up.  He wasn't going to leave her alone.  Truthfully she didn't want him to leave her alone either.  Damned shame he wouldn't sit closer.  Then again, it might be a blessing that he didn't.  "Something that I can thank you for bringing back.  Another nightmare I haven't had in years."  Slowly she sat forward, her hands still shaking slightly in the dark room.

Frank's forehead creased in confusion.  "Nightmare?  About what?"  He could see the unwillingness to talk about whatever it was in Aja's eyes.  "Aja, I can understand that you're trying to fight this on your own.  But there comes a time when you have to let go and trust someone else to catch you."

"There is no one else." She snorted spitefully.  At his resigned sigh, she looked up.  "Who? You?  You who've tortured and hounded me at every turn?  You're going to catch me?  Thank you, no."  _'God I want you to catch me.  Frank, just…' she couldn't even fathom what she had thought about saying._

"Aja…" Frank shook his head.  "You've got to tell someone.  Look at me.  Something terrible happened in your life three years ago.  I've read your files and the reports from your Supervisors.  Every single word supports the concept that a catastrophic event happened to you in New York while on your last assignment."  When Aja looked away from him, he took her hand in his.  "Open up Aja.  It's like a festering wound that's slowly killing you.  You've got to open it up and let the poison out before you can heal.  Look at me Aja, I won't hurt you again."

She couldn't.  She couldn't tell anyone about it.  She'd been stupid and weak.  Vadim had tortured her for information that she wouldn't give him.  If only she'd given him the information, he'd have let her go and… that wasn't true and she knew it.  He would have killed her if she'd told him.  How strong would she have been if she'd given up?  She felt the warm strength of his hand covering hers.  He kept at her time and again since she came to the unit to open up and tell him.  Would he catch her?  "I.."

Frank's eyebrows arched slightly.  Was she really going to tell him what had happened?  He knew on instinct that if she got it out, let go of the pain she was holding in, then she'd heal.  It took him confessing everything that he'd done and that had happened to him.  Rumors had flown around regarding his self-imposed six-month beaching, but that was the real reason.  He was getting his head back together and his soul back from the darkness.  He idly stroked the back of her hand.  "It's OK Aja.  I'm listening," he said quietly.

Aja looked up at him.  She could feel the hot tears stinging her eyes.  Finally unable to control herself anymore, she shook her head and started to cry.  "I'm so sorry… He.. he just… I didn't know he was onto me.  After that cop died on my watch and I couldn't stop it, I pressed hard, trying to get more.  Unfortunately, the Narcotics division had a sting that night, unrelated of course.  We were in the back in a private room.  I got up to see what was going on when the shooting started.  Everything is a blur after that.  I remember seeing a Narco come through the door and without thinking-"

"You reached for your badge."  It was a rookie mistake, but one that even the most seasoned law enforcement personnel makes.  Sometimes it happens.  He nodded for her to continue.

"Right in front of Herrera and his men I reached down and pulled the badge out of my boot top and flashed it as I ran out of the door and after one of the suspects in the cop's murder.  I didn't realize until later that it was a set up, the whole thing.  There was no actual deal going down.  Oh, the Narcs were real, but they were given false information.  I chased that boy down for what seemed like days.  It was quiet, I remember it was very quiet.  All I heard was my footsteps and someone else's behind me… someone was following me.  I shouldn't have gone alone, I know that, knew it then… but something made me go after him.  He was the one who'd pulled the trigger, I had to get him, bring him in."

"If the local police had arrested him," Frank started.

Aja nodded.  "He might have mysteriously died while in custody.  But that wasn't why.  It was his widow and daughter.  I wanted them to know the man who'd killed Russell was in custody and would be punished."

"Russell?"

"The cop.  Russell Merriweather.  He wasn't a rookie, but he wasn't married more than a few years with a three year old little girl.  I chased the suspect down into an alley."  Her voice cracked again and she pulled her hands from his comforting grip.  She appeared to look at them as she demonstrated what talking about.  "I shouldn't have gone into the alley, I know that.  There was a fence… probably 10 foot high.  I… lost him, he just disappeared."

"And that's when you realized?"

"Not at first.  He was there, came out of the shadows… men with him too."

"He?  As in Vadim?"

Aja just nodded silently.  She started shaking again, unable to look up.  "He knew.  Somehow he knew.  He wasn't there at the club, so he didn't see me flash my badge, but he knew.  He took my gun from me, and it dawned on me that I'd been set up somehow.  He… hit…"  Aja's head jerked away, as if reliving the incident.  

Frank reached over and pulled her hair back carefully.  Her eyes were squeezed shut and a tear trickled down her cheek… a cheek that bore a very faint and thin white line that ran the length of the cheekbone.  Vadim had left her with a reminder every time she looked into the mirror.  Absently his thumb brushed the tear from her cheek.  "What else happened?"

"Under my chin.  He put the gun under my chin and asked me what he should do with me." She whispered softly.  She felt Frank take hold of her hand again and give it a gentle squeeze.  "They beat me," she finally said.  Aja took a deep breath and sat up straighter.

Frank blinked and sat back.  It appeared that she was braver about this part than how she'd made a mistake.  He tilted his head to the side, unconsciously tracing soothing circles on the back of her hand that was clasped between his.

"I thought that was it.  But one of them picked me up.  He said, ' You will be lucky if you die before he is done with you.'  I passed out after that."  She went on to tell him of what had happened when she came to, what she remembered, the electrocution torture and being thrown out of a moving van into an alley.  "Some homeless man found me, covered me up and flagged down a police officer.  I remember seeing Doc leaning over me as the ambulance took me to the hospital."

Frank shook his head. He'd kept silent the whole time, but he felt the tears in his eyes as she related the torture she'd been through.  Little wonder she was retreating into a shell and lashing out at everyone.  "Everyone around you tried to play down what had happened, make it seem like everything was all right then… or they were sympathetic.  But it wasn't sympathy to you, it was pity and condescension, wasn't it?"

Aja nodded quietly, not saying a word.  The trickle of tears slid down her cheeks silently.  She felt better already having told Donovan everything that had happened.  For whatever reason, he seemed to understand her and her nightmares.

Frank squeezed her hand.  It wasn't what he wanted to do however.  He wanted to take her into his arms and hold her, stroke her hair and her back soothingly until she felt better, to help her understand that he'd be there for her.  But he couldn't.  He couldn't let himself fall for her.  Putting himself back into perspective, Frank let go of her hand and stood up.  "You have to let it go and move on.  You know that, don't you?"  He waited for her to acknowledge that.  He smiled softly.  "Try to go back to sleep.  I can't promise you that it will be better in the morning, but I have a feeling that things will be different for you in the morning."

Aja looked up at him for a moment.  She couldn't figure him out.  One moment he was stroking the back of her hand, the next moment he was cold and distant again.  "Yeah… " she sighed.  "Things are always different."  She lay back in the bed and turned over, giving him her back.  "Everything changes, only to stay the same.  Good Night Donovan."

_i kind of like the misery you put me through_

_darling you can trust me completely_

--

_Excerpt from the lyrics to "The Game" by Disturbed.  CD titled "The Sickness" all rights reserved._

****


	9. The Lowdown

****

"So, everything we need to know is locked in her head?" Alex's eyes betrayed the caution and disbelief in the fact that all the hard work she and Jake had put in had been for nothing.

"Don't think for a moment that you and Jake did it all for nothing. On the contrary - everything you'd succeeded in getting is only icing on the cake. Agent Cage is the key to the case. Unknowingly we've been working on her last undercover assignment. This changes things dramatically for us all."

Monica nodded and took over where Frank left off. "We've been under the false conclusion that the ring was centered here in Chicago. It's actually based out of New York City. This is just a roll-over branch of the operation that handles the prostitution."

"The drugs come out of New York." Aja quirked a half-smile as everyone turned to face her. "It's the last thing I discovered before I was found out. I've been going over every last thing in my mind, what I can remember anyways." A lopsided grin formed on her face and she nodded at Frank.

Frank nodded back. He knew that electric shock torture had a tendency to short-circuit the brain. In some victims it led to mental challenges, madness. In Aja, it had manifested its side effects in patches of memory loss.

Aja sat down and crossed her arms, leaning over the table slightly. "Vadim, the second in command. He runs the Chicago operation and answers to Herrera. Everything that comes in comes through the harbor. It was a smooth operation, nothing but imported pods. He had a lab somewhere in the city that I hadn't found yet. Chances are since he found out he had a cop in his operation, he's moved it outside of the city into a compound, or even done away with it to import the finished products by themselves."

"How do you know all of this?" Jake blinked. "None of this was in the filed reports.

"It's amazing what electro-shock therapy will erase… and how powerful a memory drug revenge and desire can be."

Alex and Jake looked at each other, then to Monica and Frank before looking back at Aja.

"Yes. Part of the reason I've been so hellish to deal with is my relationship to Vadim." She held up the photo of the man in front of her. "While I swung from an iron chain, naked and wet, he proceeded to torture me with electric shock for what felt like hours. This came after his men beat the fucking hell out of me. When he couldn't get what he wanted, I'd passed out by this time mind you, he threw me into a van and dropped me by the side of the road. I remembered seeing two paramedics leaning over me… the homeless man who found me… and a police officer sitting next to me as I was being rushed to the hospital."

Alex and Jake's jaws dropped. Monica managed to keep her composure while Frank didn't appear to be affected by it all. Aja just kept smiling softly, her mouth shut as everyone else struggled to wrap his or her minds around what had happened to her so many years ago.

"Are you…" Jake started to ask.

"Am I all right?" Aja chuckled softly, setting down the photo. She absently picked up a paperclip and fiddled with it between her fingers. "No. I doubt I'll ever be 'all right.' I am, however, getting over it. After last night and confiding in Donovan," she sighed and paused, debating how to say it. "Bad things happen. And how we deal with it defines who we are. Frank's been trying to beat that into my head since Day One. Last night he simply listened to me for a change. He promised me that he'd help me if I wanted it, if I wanted to get past this and move on. Seeing Vadim like this, realizing the case you all were working on was just the same case I'd worked on three years ago, it brought back a lot of memories I'd tried to forget."

Monica and Alex watched as she toyed with the paperclip, then moved on to the photo. As she talked, she kept dragging the rough tip of the twisted and straightened out clip over the photograph. Her hand covered it and held the glossy paper in place, but she was doing something to the picture.

"You can't forget it." she continued. "You have to accept that it happened. For the longest time I denied what had happened, the fact that I'd been discovered. It happens. But I was arrogant enough to believe that it couldn't happen to me. What I was most ashamed of was my inability to fight it, to fight back against him. For the last three years I'd been fighting my own personal shame and guilt." She fell silent, her head dropping just a little bit as the silence loomed over the conference table.

Finally Frank sat forward and cleared his throat. "Very good. Now that the air is cleared, Aja, are you capable of joining the team?" His dark eyes took in the photograph for a moment, then looked back up to her as she lifted her head.

"You sure you want me to go in? Vadim will know me in a moment."

"That won' be a problem." Jake interrupted. All eyes turned to him and waited. "There's a big business meeting in New York in two days. Everyone that's high up in the organization is moving to New York for the next week. Everything operation wise has ceased on this end of it."

Alex chimed in. "That's right. I heard some discussion of the black tie formal celebration at Hererra's penthouse in New York. It's supposed to be a big blowout party. Jake and I were invited to speak to Hererra there and to pitch the business to him. He's looking to branch out with the girls into other cities beyond Chicago."

"We've got him hooked with the prospect of an anonymous backer." Jake concluded. "I think it's time that Aja slipped into a formal dress."

Frank looked at Aja, who returned his look. He was silently asking her if she felt up to the task of going back undercover into a pit of snakes that knew who she was.

"My appearance has changed a lot. Hair's longer, I'm not quite so gaunt as I was back then. Working over a punching back will tend to fill one out quite a bit in the muscle department," she joked. "Yes. I think it's time we visited New York again. There's just one codicil to the whole deal."

Frank's eyebrows raised. "Oh?"

"Yeah. I have a contact in the NYPD that needs to know."

"Why?" Frank always notified the local branches of the FBI, but not always the police department. That fell under the heading of the local branch's responsibility. His eyes fell to the photo that she held covered on the table. Something bothered him about what she was doing to it.

"She worked with me on the case. She knew my cover and my identity." She heard Alex's intake of breath and scowled. "Before you assume she was the one who leaked my cover, I can assure you on a stack of bibles that she didn't - Neither her nor her partner. Someone else blew me in to Vadim. That's one thing I want to find out while in New York."

Frank nodded then stood up. "All right everyone. Pack for New York. I have a call to make. And so do you Aja. Once we get to New York, make the call, get the officer on your side again and have her inform her Sergeant."

Monica leaned across the table as Aja got up. She'd left the photo behind, the bent and twisted paperclip lying on top of the glossy. "Oh… good god…" She cautiously showed the photo to Frank. The eyes had been scratched out, harshly enough that there were pinpoints of sunlight shining through the thick paper.

__

is she really telling lies again

doesn't she realize she's in danger ?

--

__

Excerpt from the lyrics to "The Game" by Disturbed. CD titled "The Sickness" all rights reserved.

****


	10. Calling All Cars

****

The phone ringing in her pocket caused Officer Yokas to jump slightly in her seat.

Bosco looked across the seat at his partner as she fumbled for the phone. They'd been in the middle of a discussion about his love life when her cell went off. He hadn't seen Yokas jump like that before. "Faith?"

"Hello?"

"Faith?"

"Yeah, this is Faith Yokas. Who's this?" A soft chuckle came across the phone. Yokas turned to Bosco and shrugged. When she heard 'Jane Doe' in her ear softly whispered she turned around again. She knew that she should know this… but it wasn't coming to her. "Answer me, who is this?"

"Aw Faith, you never did let me have any fun. Let me guess, you're in the RMP with Bosco behind the wheel, probably discussing his sex life."

Faith blinked and started looking around the car, searching for a hidden camera or mic. Bosco pulled over and looked at his partner like she was going insane. "And how would you know that?" Faith stopped and looked at Bosco, then mouthed 'We're being watched.'

Bosco blinked and shrugged, then started searching the dashboard for some means of surveillance. This was freaking him out a bit.

Soft laughter came over Faith's cell phone. "Aw Faith, stop it and tell Bosco to stop copping a feel of the dash. You're not under surveillance and there's no equipment to find. I just know you two too well. You still don't know who this is, do you?"

"I know the voice," Faith said simply, putting a hand on Bosco's arm to stop him in his search. "But we're in the middle of-"

"Your patrol, yes, yes, I know. How's Fred and the kids?"

Faith's mouth dropped and she looked at Bosco, who was beginning to get pissed off at whoever was on the other end of the phone. "Fred's fine, so are the kids."

'Who is it?!' Bosco mouthed. Faith waved him off.

"I suppose I've had enough fun jerking your chain. Faith, tell Bosco his favorite pair of legs is on the phone."

Faith's eyebrows shot up and she turned to Bosco. "His favorite pair of legs huh? You sure he's only got one? I mean, with as many women as he's banged in the last few years I think he's got more." She immediately had to fend off Bosco's hands as he tried to snatch the phone from her.

"Gimme the phone Faith!" Bosco growled. His favorite pair of legs - also known as Aja Cage - was on the phone. He'd had it bad for her since they first met three years ago. Then out of nowhere, she vanishes without a word. He knew she was an undercover cop and that Laura something-or-other wasn't her real name, but she'd never told him anything beyond her real name.

"Yeah, well, Fred suffered a heart attack a few months ago. Oh, he's fine." Faith grinned evilly and held Bosco back with her free hand. "Nope, I don't think he's interested in talking to you at all. OK, I'll give him the message." She turned the phone away from her mouth and faced Bosco - who had settled down and was waiting expectantly. "She said she's wearing a badge, a pair of lace hotpants and her holster."

Aja jerked the phone away from her ear as she heard shouting and very loud laughter on the phone. It was all she could do to keep from bursting out laughing herself. The outfit she'd asked Faith to tell Bosco she was wearing was something he'd told her he'd fantasized about her wearing for him and him only. Cautiously she put the phone back to her ear and listened to the ruckus in the unit. She had to ignore the strange looks that Frank and Monica kept giving her. Especially Frank. He seemed to be a bit bothered by the mention of the outfit and another man.

"Gimme that phone Faith!!" Bosco shouted as he finally jerked it out of her hands. Settling down and glaring indignantly at Faith - who was now laughing near hysterically - he cleared his throat and put the phone to his ear. "Aja?"

"Hey handsome," she purred into the phone. "Having problems this morning?"

"Nothing that dinner tonight wouldn't fix." He loved listening to Aja purr. He felt cheated that he'd never been able to make her purr for him in person the way she purred at him over the phone. She'd always held him away from her, like she was keeping something from him.

"Settle for lunch instead?"

Bosco's head snapped up. "You're in New York?" He looked at Faith who had stopped laughing. If some of the other cops in the Precinct knew she was back in town, there might be an all out war on their hands. A few of the veterans remembered her and the fact that one of their own died because of her.

Faith and Bosco of course knew better. They were with her when it happened and it was an accident that 'Laura' could not prevent. What puzzled them even more is that no one ever saw the officer's body. It was supposedly lost in the building fire, but nothing was ever found. Not even a badge. 

"Yes. Look, all teasing aside Maurice," she knew that he'd listen now because the only time she'd called him that was when it was dead serious. "I need to meet with Faith. There's something going on that I need to let you guys in on."

Bosco straightened up and Faith watched as his face turned dead serious. Aja must have hauled out 'Maurice'. She heard him give the name of a restaurant and a time, then hang up and hand the phone back to her. "What's going on Bosco?"

"Aja needs to meet with you. She said there's something going on that we need to know about."

"Wonder what that could be." Faith chewed her lower lip as Bosco pulled back out into traffic. If Aja called and said something was going on, then it was serious. Aja was a Fed, she'd known this since the beginning. Aja had pulled her aside one night before she went home from work and took her out for a drink. Over drinks, the two women became friends and Aja confided in Faith who she was, why she was there and some other little details - like the fact that she was doing double duty as an undercover agent posing as an undercover Narc in a drug ring. Faith had to admire the woman. She herself would have been confused from the start about which role she was playing. Deep down she thought Aja had the same doubts about herself. The only problem was Bosco. He didn't know she was Federal. He was still under the impression that she was IAB. It'd been tough the last three years to keep him from finding out she was FBI. It might crush him to find out he'd been lied to all along and she hadn't trusted him enough to tell him the ultimate truth. Hell, it nearly crushed him to figure out she'd left without a word after Sully discovered her in the hospital under a Jane Doe. Aja had up and split without so much as a good-bye. Two days later she called Faith to let her know that she was OK and she would be in touch later on.

Faith looked over at Bosco as he drove. It was silent in the car between them. Somewhere deep down Faith knew that Bosco resented her for the friendship she had with Aja. Either that or he felt like she was holding out on him. In truth she hadn't. Faith had only heard from Aja once more after the first phone call. She had called in the middle of the night after 9-11 to see if she and everyone else were OK. Faith could hear the relief in Aja's voice when she answered the phone. It was then that she gave Aja her cell phone number and made her promise to call more often. But Faith was bothered by something. Aja sounded different and troubled… haunted even. It was as if someone had dampened the spirit she had seen in her when she first met the woman. For that she was glad that Bosco hadn't heard from Aja at all. He wouldn't understand. The doctor had told Faith that she hadn't been raped, but Faith felt differently. What could have happened to Aja those few days that she was missing that had had such a profound effect on her if it wasn't sexual assault?

Bosco drove in silence, his jaw torqued up tightly. After three years, she calls out of the blue. And not him - she called Faith first. There were so many questions that he needed answered, questions that built up over three years of silence from Aja. He remembered the night she'd disappeared. He and Faith responded to a call from a local nightclub that had a reputation for being a narcotics distribution haven. What troubled him the most that night was that she kept running. He'd called out to her to stop and let him go with her. But she kept going. He'd followed her as far as he could on foot, but in the end he lost her after a mile and the second alley. Word came back later over dispatch that Detective Laura Kylie had turned up missing. He and Faith spent the next three days on their patrol looking for her in every alley, under every rock and behind every dope dealer they could roust. No one knew anything about a missing detective.

Bosco sighed heavily as he rounded the corner. Then the call came over the radio that Detective 'Kylie' had been found at the hospital in a patient's bed with the chart name of 'Jane Doe'. The look in her eyes when he came into the room… He shuddered involuntarily at the memory. She looked lost, haunted… broken even. All he could do was stand there as Faith tried to talk to her. Aja kept turning her head to the side away from Faith. In the end, he had to pull Faith out of the hospital room. Seeing Aja like that was more than either one of them were prepared to handle. He'd gone back later that night after shift was over to see her, to try and get some response out of her other than turning away. But she was gone when he got there. The nurse couldn't tell him anything, none of them seemed to remember her.

He walked home that night, instead of driving. As much as he wanted to hate Aja for splitting, he couldn't. All he could do was hope that she was all right wherever she was… that and pray she'd come back and at least tell him where she was, how she was. Now she was here, in New York, three years later… and she needed to talk to Faith about some operation. There wasn't even anything personal said between them on the phone. He felt… he couldn't put words to how he felt really.

"It's not like we ever truly expected her to call us every day." Faith finally said.

"Yeah. But more than once in three years would be good." Bosco retorted.

yeah, you have created a rift with me

there've been several complications

and i'm left with feeling nothing

i might say you were wrong to take it from me

left me feeling nothing

--

__

Excerpt from the lyrics to "Numb" by Disturbed. CD titled "The Sickness" all rights reserved.

****


	11. Lunch Meeting

****

__

A/N – I can't go another chapter longer without ranting. So, as I take a few minutes of your time, Gentle Reader, please understand that there is no other way for me to do this.

I've gotten a few reviews from someone using the name 'Shirl'. She signs anonymously and does not leave an email address. What I'm bothered by is her lack of anything positive to say about my work. Bad reviews happen and I know that she is entitled to her opinion and entitled to post them publicly. Yes, I accept all forms of critique, praise and criticism. If it merits a response in my mind or asks a question, then I'll answer or respond.

However, in the four or five reviews she has left me, both for this story and another one, she has had NOTHING good to say about my work. I find myself asking the computer screen when I read her reviews, if she has anything good to say to anyone about anything at all. Perhaps she doesn't like my work. If she doesn't, that's fine. But that begs the question – if she doesn't like my work/stories, why the bloody hell is she reading them then?

Sorry, I had to let that vent Shirl. Your continual negative and flaming reviews without anything good to say for ANY part of my work at all is, well, depressing. I would have addressed this issue in private email with you and not here, but there isn't any other way to reach you. So, I am forced to do this publicly.

If you do not like my work, why do you read it? If you feel that my work is beneath you, then I am sorry. But whatever the situation might be, please do remember that while I do accept bad reviews and do not delete anonymous reviews… it does hurt when given a continual negative response.

Thank you.

--

"Central, 55-David." Bosco thumbed the radio mic on his shoulder as he got out of the car.

"Go ahead 55-David."

"55-David going 10-63."

"10-4 55-David."

Faith looked over at Bosco, then into the diner. It didn't appear that Aja had arrived yet. "You think she'll show?"

Faith looked back at Bosco. "This is Aja we're talking about Bosco. It's not like she's a snitch. She'll be here if she said she would be. Be patient."

"My patience ran out about 3 years ago Faith."

Faith shook her head as she entered the diner behind Bosco. She knew that he was anxious to see her again and no matter what might be said between them as partners, he would never let on just how bad he had it for her. The fact that he didn't talk about her much at all led Faith to believe he was really hurting over her. Even in the Academy Bosco had always talked about his girlfriends of chicks he was hot for.

Aja sat in the taxi around the corner. She'd watched the police car pull up and the two officers get out. Neither one had changed in three years. Bosco had cut his hair even shorter and Faith looked more like a veteran cop. She had to chuckle. Sometimes things change only to remain the same. Handing the $20 to the driver, she opened the door and got out. She looked around briefly, subconsciously checking for anyone who was paying closer attention then they should have. It came second nature to her to look over her shoulder now. The last time she was in New York, she didn't. Things like that will change a person for the rest of their lives.

Bosco looked up from the menu at the waitress. "Coffee and I'll take the tuna."

"Coffee, chicken salad sandwich." Faith handed the menu to the waitress and stood. "I'll be right back Bos. Keep an eye out for Aja, 'kay?"

"Yeah, sure. If I recognize her."

Faith chuckled and headed towards the back where the ladies room was. Bosco fidgeted, looking around the diner and out the window. His eyes caught a woman walking up the sidewalk. His jaw dropped slightly as she entered the diner. She had on a black ankle-length sweater coat with a shaggy black fur collar and cuffs. Underneath she wore a black leather skirt and a tight black turtleneck sweater that just barely covered her stomach. Bosco caught glimpses of creamy flesh when she took steps. Her eyes were hid behind opaque black sunglasses and her long black hair draped over her shoulders, fluttering lightly as she walked. He watched her come towards the table, then brush right behind him. For a moment he swore he could feel a hand brushing over the back of his neck as she walked behind him. Turning to watch, he caught sight of high-heeled knee boots that supported a confident gait. She was headed towards a table in the back. "Wow." He sighed. "Now why can't I snag a woman like that?"

Aja chuckled. Bosco, as usual, was oblivious. She'd come towards him, giving him a full view of her and he still hadn't recognized her. Maybe it was the long hair. She looked back over her shoulder to see Bosco looking the other direction. With a smile, she ducked into the ladies' room. This time she didn't really need Bosco asking too many questions. The file Cody had pulled for her showed that he'd had a lot of problems in the last year and a half - including visits to a shrink for PTSD. This might be another trigger… then again, maybe not.

Faith was washing her hands at the sink when she heard the door open. She looked up in the mirror to see a tall woman in black standing behind her with sunglasses on - staring right at her in the mirror's reflection. Hackles went up on the back of her neck and she spun around to confront the woman.

Aja grinned as Faith whirled around. One hand clamped over Faith's mouth while the other laid a single finger to her own lips. "Sssh, easy there Yokas."

Faith visibly relaxed and leaned against the sink as Aja lowered her hand. "Aja?! Good God you look different."

"Three years will change a person." She embraced her friend tightly, then stood back. "I'm sorry to corner you in the john, but I don't want to get Bosco in on this yet. I think it's best that he don't know right now what's going on."

"You don't trust him?"

"It's not that Faith. He still doesn't know I'm Federal." Aja reached over and flipped the deadbolt on the bathroom door. She obviously wanted to keep the conversation private. "I don't want him to get the wrong idea."

"OK, I'll see if I can keep him on the straight and narrow about this. But Aja, you're gonna have to tell him when this is over that you're a Fed."

"I know. And I will, I promise. Look, I'm with a team now. We've got an operation running - a big black tie party and we're aiming to take him down tonight."

"Him, who?"

"His name is Hererra."

"Oh my God," Faith gasped. "This is the same case you were working on?"

"Yeah. It is. That's why I'm letting you in on it. If Bosco found out this were the same case, he'd be antsy, possibly jump the gun. I know he's got it for me and his feelings might override his common sense."

"Yeah, this is Bosco we're talking about. OK, so why tell me to begin with?"

"My boss is talking with the local branch and I'm sure word will filter down-"

The radio on Faith's shoulder crackled to life. "Hey Faith, you're food's here."

"Got it," she answered, thumbing the switch. "Be right out." She looked up and sighed.

"Yeah, make it quick." Aja laughed. "Story of my life. Look, I'm sure that it's going to wind up with nothing spectacular, but I'll call you if I find out more particular details."

"Got it, I'll leave the phone on. You joining us for lunch?"

Aja winked and put a finger to her lips, making a 'shh' noise. "Nope. I have a party to attend tonight. I have to look spectacular."

As Faith exited the ladies' room, Aja ducked out behind her the opposite way and out the back door. By the time Faith was sitting down at the table with Bosco, Aja was opening a cab door and giving directions on where to go.

"Took ya long enough."

"Oh be quiet." She spied his half-eaten sandwich. "Hungry?"

"You were in there forever Faith. I was beginning to think I'd have to call for back-up."

"Sorry. I was contemplating something."

"Like I needed to know that." He looked up and around, like he was looking for someone. "No sign of Aja yet. I don't think she'll show Faith."

"Then try looking outside instead of inside."

"Huh? Oh, sorry. I was trying to find someone. You should have seen her Faith, she was HOT!"

"She?" She took a sip of the coffee and raised both eyebrows.

"Yeah, right after you took 5, this woman comes in looking like a model from uptown. Dressed all in black. Walked right by me and I swear I think she brushed the back of my neck."

Faith had to blink hard and try not to choke on the bite of sandwich as she stifled a laugh. He'd seen Aja and she'd come right by him and he didn't even know it was her. Sometimes observation wasn't his strongest character. "Oh? Where is she?"

"I dunno. She headed towards a table in the back, but I lost her. How hard can it be to find her, stunner like that?"

"Maybe she got a whiff of your aftershave and bolted out the back door?"

Bosco made a face at his partner and tossed down the last of the sandwich onto the plate. "She ain't comin' Faith, just like I thought. I should have known. I mean, she took off from the hospital without an explanation or a phone call. Shoulda known better."

Faith chuckled as she picked up her sandwich and left a tip. Bosco stood up at the same time and called into dispatch that they were back from lunch and available for call. By the time they got into the car, Faith took some measure of mercy.

"She was here Bos."

"No, Faith, she wasn't!"

"The hot model? That was her. She cornered me in the bathroom and had a little chat. C'mon, head to the precinct and I'll explain it to you and the Sergeant at the same time."

Bosco simply stared at his partner. He replayed the woman's entrance in his mind. That was Aja? When this was over, he was going to have to strap her down and get some answers out of her once and for all…

__

why, do you like playing around with

my narrow scope of reality

i can feel it all start slippin'

i think i'm breaking down 

--

__

Excerpt from the lyrics to "Stupify" by Disturbed. CD titled "The Sickness" all rights reserved.

****


	12. Game On, Sister

****

"Any sign of the 'Guest of Honor'?" Aja folded one arm across her stomach and propped the champagne glass against her lips to mask the movement of her lips moving. She was also trying to cover up her exposed stomach and camouflage her overly amplified cleavage. Ever since Monica had helped her get dressed, she'd been wriggling her shoulders and trying to subtly shift everything so it was more comfortable. All it'd succeeded in doing was making her more irritable and more uncomfortable.

"Keep it calm Cage." Frank growled in her ear. Her eyes flicked over to where he was standing. He seemed to be looking right at her. She held his eyes for a moment. Admittedly, he was damned good looking - and wicked in a tuxedo. When she first saw him tonight in it, she had to do a double take and refrain from licking her lips as she gave him the once over. Of course, she knew it was mutual - he'd given her a long and hard once over herself when she stepped out of the adjoining bedroom and into everyone's presence.

"I can't help it Donovan," she hissed behind her champagne flute. "I can't wait to get out of this outfit!" As she kept her eyes on his she rolled her shoulders again, trying to work out the growing ache of where her upper had been pulled up into an almost unnatural posture. Granted, she was standing straight and almost at a military-esque position, but it still hurt like hell.

__

'Give me all of five minutes to get you into the back of a taxi and I'll grant your wish!' Donovan shook his head to clear the thought. This was not the time to be thinking of such things. However, it was very difficult to keep his mind off of the silk dress she was in. Again he gave her an appraising look. She looked positively wicked in the pale gold silk corset and skirt. The color of the fabric made her eyes glow under the black eye makeup - eerily almost. "I know Cage. It does look a bit uncomfortable, but it's necessary."

"Necessary to who?!" came the irritated whisper.

Jake chuckled softly at the wrangling in his ear as he danced with Alex. Once in a while he caught sight of Aja as she leaned up against one of the columns and tried to look like she was enjoying herself. But, he and Alex knew better. She was nervous, bordering on scared, at the prospect of seeing Vadim for the first time in three years tonight. The whole trip from the hotel to here she kept chewing on a thumbnail, fidgeting with her dress or taking sharp cuts at any one of them.

"To you, Aja," Monica answered in all of their ears. "We had to put you into a designer outfit to keep up the illusion of your being a backer with high finances for Jake and Alex's business proposition. Consider yourself lucky - Alex never got to wear Mackie and we were definitely very lucky he could come help on such short notice."

"Monica's right," Alex chimed in. "You were designed into that dress. I couldn't even begin to pull it off the way you can. You look fine, stop fidgeting and for God's sake smile!"

"I can't breathe guys. This corset is cutting off my air supply. I feel like if I take a deep breath, it's going to either pop the laces on this or I'm going to pass out."

Monica's laughter filled her ear as she glared out over the crowd. As she waited for words to be spoken, a man approached her with a charming smile on his face. "Excuse me-"

"No." Aja's eyes were still locked on Frank across the room and she smirked.

"But-"

"No." She could see the man's confused expression. Normally she would have relished the opportunity, but right now she was too annoyed to be flirtatious.

"You don't-"

"No." When he finally gave up and left, she tore her eyes from Frank's and swept the room again. "Monica, you finished laughing yet? Want to tell me why I couldn't have worn a simple dress like Alex's?"

It was Frank who answered her. "The dress was designed with you in mind. What would happen if you have to take off running in pursuit? You're the fastest runner her - I've seen you in action. If you had worn a dress like Alex's, you'd have to be holding up the skirt as you ran and that would have left no place to grip a gun. With the skirt slit the way it is, it gives your feet and legs the freedom needed in a high speed foot chase."

"So you're saying this dress was engineered."

"Yes."

"And the thigh high boots?"

"Same thing. You can pull it off. You run on the ball of your feet. Hard as hell on the joints and your legs, but if - and I say this loosely - if you have to run, you're the best bet. Sorry Aja. It's part of the image you've got to project."

"Speaking of image to project," Jake interrupted. "We've got company."

Aja's eyes immediately flew around the room. It took two second to locate Vadim. She could feel her heart start to pound in her chest, but she quelled it down as best she could. He hadn't changed in the past three years, just become more evil looking - if that were possible. He also had another man with him, younger. This one looked familiar too… but she couldn't place him just yet. Confused, she kept watching him intently as he turned. "Oh God," she gasped.

Frank's eyes left their quarry and picked up Aja the second he heard her gasp in his ear. "Aja, what's wrong?" This wasn't the time for her to be having a relapse or even be paralyzed by her fear of Vadim. "Aja, answer me."

Jake and Alex stopped in their tracks. They'd been slowly drifting towards Vadim when they both heard Frank's voice and Aja's gasp. As Alex kept watch on their targets, Jake took a look back. He saw Aja standing stock still, her head tilted to the side slightly with a look on her face that was mixed confusion, anger, shock and… something else. She also looked like she was starting to move. It was almost magical as the crowd of people parted with each step she took.

Vadim turned when the man put a hand on his shoulder. "What is it now?" he spat irritably.

"We've got problems. Look." He pointed to the woman walking towards them in the gold silk dress. "I thought you said she was dead!" he hissed in Vadim's ear.

If it were possible, Vadim paled even more before a high color of red flushed his cheeks as his watery blue eyes locked onto scorching amber. Despite the shock of seeing her alive, he felt a hand shoving him towards to exit along with the voice hissing in his ear to go.

"We're losing him!" Alex barked. She patted Jake on the shoulder and sent him off towards the elevator. "Frank-"

"Alex, Jake, keep calm. If they both have spotted me," Aja said with an air of calm that felt like the Eye of the Storm, "Then chances are you two have been given up. Frank, follow Vadim. Be careful, he's a tricky bastard. I'll leave it up to Jake and Alex as to who goes with you. I'm going after the little bastard with him."

Frank did a double take as he heard her orders in his ear. He watched her move through the crowd easily. His sight caught Vadim and the man as they split up - one to the emergency stairs and the other to the elevator. "All right. Jake, give Aja backup. Alex, your closer to the elevator than I am - you're with me."

If she heard his orders at all, she didn't acknowledge them as she hit the exit door. Without a care for caution, she threw the door open with a loud bang and started her flight down the stairs with Jake right behind her. "Monica."

"Go ahead Aja."

"Call in Yokas and Boscorelli. They're headed for the lobby."

__

you can't deny what you see

we're living in a violent society

well my brother let me show you a better way

now get your game face on because it's time to play

--

Excerpt from the lyrics to "Violence Fetish" by Disturbed. CD titled "The Sickness" all rights reserved.

****


	13. Like Blood for Water

****

Faith and Bosco were already on their way to answer the call when they saw two men and a woman exit the building. When the call came in from dispatch, they'd requested backup from Sullivan and Davis - who were en route at the moment and due to arrive any moment. Both exited their squad car and looked at each other. "You don't expect me to chase them, do you?"

Bosco gave her a look, then took off running after the three people. "Central, 55-David in pursuit on foot…"

Faith turned as the other car pulled to a stop. "Bosco's taken off after them!" she shouted. "Sully, you're with me."

Shaking his head, Davis took off running after Bosco to give him backup as Sullivan joined Faith.

"What the hell is going on Faith?"

"Remember that Jane Doe from a few years ago?"

"No, should I?"

"Sure you do, Aja Cage… the one you found in the hospital while hunting down the missing child?"

"Oh yeah. The one who didn't talk." He stopped in front of the double glass doors. "Why?"

She had been about to answer him when a body came flying through the doors and landed on top of them both. Following him out was one very unhappy Aja. He scrambled up, leaving the two NYPD officers in a semi-daze. "Get this crazy bitch away from me!!"

"Aw, now Scot, is that any way to talk to an old friend?" she asked sweetly as she backed him up against the door of the RMP.

Jake skidded out of the lobby doors and right into the larger officer. "Sorry man, where's-" He made a sound like 'oh' when he heard a fist connecting with a jaw and a body landing with a thud up against the car.

"Aja, stop it!" Faith shouted. "He's got to be arrested!"

"No way Faith," she spat back. "This little rat bastard blew me in to Vadim. Sullivan, Yokas, meet Scot Brystow - one of NYPD's IAB Investigators." She kicked high, catching Scot across the shoulder with the tip of her heel. The fabric of his tuxedo jacket ripped and almost immediately blood began to seep through the fabric. Bringing the toe of her shoe back across his chest, she kicked him again, this time pinning him by the throat up against the car with her foot. "Sing me a song Scot, and I might let your own take you in." she snarled.

Faith and Sully both watched, recognizing the man. "I can't believe it. Hey, how do you know he wasn't on duty or an investigation?"

"Because," Aja replied smoothly, "He was there when Vadim tortured me."

"Go.. gack….. go to hell Cage." When she frowned and pressed her shoe tighter into his throat, he grasped at her ankle. "You…. you got…."

"What? I got what?" she taunted.

"Hey, knock it off." Jake interrupted. "Look, Officer Yokas is it? Jake Shaw, I'm with her. My partner and I got enough evidence to lock him away for the rest of his life. He's been to several meeting between us and this Vadim person. He wasn't on any investigation."

"I… didn't…" his face was turning red and he kept scratching at her ankles, his nails scraping across the leather. "know… "

"Cage, ease up, he's trying to speak." Jake reached up and pulled her back. He watched as Bristow doubled over once her foot was removed and coughed. "Thank you," he wheezed, looking at Jake.

"Don't thank me yet man. You don't tell her what she wants to hear and I'll let her finish you. Now, you were saying?"

Faith stayed near Aja as Sully moved in closer to Bristow. "You OK Cage?"

Aja nodded and listened, her hands on her hips. "Speak up Bristow."

"I didn't know you were undercover FBI." He finally said as he stood up and leaned against the car. His face was still red and he had a definite red mark where her heel had dug into his throat. "I knew you as an undercover Narco."

"Who told you I was FBI?"

"Merriweather."

Aja froze. "Russell? No way you little-" She started to lunge at him, but Faith and Jake held her back. "NO!!" she screamed. "There is no way in hell that Russell would have turned on me!"

"Oh get over yourself!" Scot spat back at her with glee. "He is as dirty as I am."

"OK Bristow, you know the drill." Sullivan sighed and pulled out his cuffs. "Up against the car and spread 'em."

Faith dragged Aja back with Jake's help and shook her to get her attention. "Aja! Stop it! He confessed, OK? He admitted he was dirty in front of two cops and two FBI agents. He's going to jail."

"I want him to suffer!" she hissed. "Let me go Jake!"

"No way Cage. You're a little to hostile right now. Officer Yokas is right, he's going away for a very long time. You won."

Bristow watched over his shoulder as Sullivan patted him down for a weapon. He should have put a bullet into her when they threw her out of the van. But it had been Merriweather's instructions not to kill her. Once Herrera found out that she had lived, it was going to be hell for everyone of them. Unless… As he was turned around, he twisted, grasping Sullivan's gun and jerking it from the holster.

All three of them saw the movement and turned. Faith jerked her gun at the same time that Jake reached for his. Aja felt a hand in the middle of her back shoving her to the side as three simultaneous shots rang out and echoed in her ears.

__

leave it and i might crack

more than a smile or two you see

don't judge what you don't understand

you can't deny what has been given to me

--

__

Excerpt from the lyrics to "Fear" by Disturbed. CD titled "The Sickness" all rights reserved.

****


	14. 1013

****

Frank snarled as he rounded the corner into the alley. He knew Alex was right behind him in pursuit, but his mind was on Vadim. Something snapped when the skeletal man took off running and all Frank could see was punishing him. He closed the distance to fingertip length, then stretched out and grasped the back of his tuxedo jacket.

Alex saw the shadows move, then Vadim thrown against the chain link fencing at the end of the alley. She slowed down, gun in hand and aimed at Vadim as she watched Frank pounce on the man. Shock and awe washed over her as she witnessed her boss, the Ice Man himself, Master of Self Control, completely lose it and begin to beat the shit out of Vadim. "Frank… stop," she urged. When he didn't respond, she reached out and put a hand towards them. "Frank! Stop it right now!"

Ty Davis had split up from Bosco and taken a side alley. He heard the sounds of a scuffle and a woman's voice ordering someone named Frank to stop. Cautiously he edged closer, startling only when the chain link fencing in front of him buckled with the weight of a body being thrown against it. "NYPD, FREEZE!" He ordered as he stepped into the clearing and leveled his gun at the two men.

Alex looked up from Frank as she saw movement behind Vadim's body and switched her aim from Vadim to the person behind he and Frank. "Drop it Officer! He's coming in with us!"

Bosco crept down the alley, listening to the sounds of a fight and a standoff between Davis and some woman. Quietly he raised his weapon, ready to shoot if necessary. He saw the taller man wailing on the pale thin man and the woman in the red dress drawing down on Davis. This could really ugly, really quickly. "Put the gun down Ma'am" he ordered gravely. He saw the woman stiffen, but not lower her weapon. "Davis, you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I got her, you deal with the lunatics."

"Don't touch them," she snarled. "You boys are so in over your heads right now."

"That so?" Bosco smarted. "Prove it. But if I don't like what you've got to show me, I have no problem shooting you."

"We're both Federal Agents you bone head!" Alex spat irritably. She could see Vadim wasn't fighting back. Frank really hadn't given him a chance to. But the young cop in front of her was getting nervous. "Put the gun down Officer. I'll show you my badge."

"Here's a better idea," Davis said calmly despite his edge. "How about you put your gun away, THEN show me your badge."

"HEY!" Bosco shouted as he inched closer to the two men. "HEY!! KNOCK IT OFF!! Don't make me ask you two again!"

"Back off Junior!" Frank snarled as he clamped his hands around Vadim's throat. "This piece of work is all mine."

Alex flicked a glance back and forth between the Officer behind the fence and Frank. She'd never seen him like this. Aja had told them all that Vadim had been the one to do it all to her, but it was like Frank had taken this on as a personal mission to destroy Vadim. "Frank… enough, he's been beaten enough." She checked her hammer and pulled the gun back to reach for Frank's shoulder.

"Hey, easy there lady!" Bosco ordered. "Sir! Frank, is it? She's right, he's had enough. Why don't you let up on him and let us take him in. We can file a report of arrest, charge him with… whatever it is he did… C'mon, let me handle him."

Frank stopped, his hands gripping Vadim's throat, and the Officer's words filtering into his mind. What was he doing? He looked down at the piece of shit - who half-grinned back up at him. If he killed Vadim, then he'd be no better than him. "You piece of shit, Vadim. You'd like nothing better than for me to kill you, isn't that right?" he growled.

Vadim just smiled through the bloody teeth and bruised cheek. "She got to you, didn't she?" he wheezed. With a chuckle and a wince, he kept needling his attacker. "She's good that way… You should try cream sherry licked off of her nipples, sweet and creamy…" He grunted when he was kicked in the ribs. "Aja…" he sighed "Aja's skin, so smooth and soft, holds a bite really well. Don't fall for her - she'll betray you if you do."

Bosco straightened up when he heard Aja's name. What the hell… Was this the bastard that tortured Aja three years ago? However, his moment of confusion was interrupted when the man named Frank started beating the crap out of his victim. The woman had dropped her gun and grabbed hold of Frank's shoulders in an effort to pull him off. However, she wound up riding his back piggy-back style she was so slight against him. Bosco holstered his gun while Davis kept him covered and grabbed hold of Frank. "HEY!! KNOCK IT OFF!!"

"You'll never get the chance to hurt her again," Frank hissed low as he jerked Vadim's face up close to his own. "I don't care if I have to make you disappear, you will never lay your eyes on Aja Cage again!"

"C'mon buddy, ease offa him, let me take care of it," Bosco ordered as he shoved Frank aside. The moment he got his hands on Vadim however, Bosco shoved him face-first into the brick wall and jerked his hands behind his back. "Ow, that had to hurt. You know, you should be more careful in these alleys - bad things happen."

Vadim chuckled. "If you only knew…" The rest of his words were cut off as he was jerked forcibly along the alley.

Davis had come around and met them at the entrance of the alley. He reached for his handcuffs and then for the woman. Bosco stopped him however.

"Hey, Davis, you don't cuff Federal Agents, remember?"

"But Bos, she drew down on me!"

"No buts, they're on an operation tonight. Let it go." He shoved the piece of shit in front of him down the street and back towards the RMP.

Alex and Frank followed behind them, trying to keep from scowling or grinding their teeth. Frank still wanted to be throttling Vadim and Alex was ready to give the two officers a piece of her mind. They never had this problem with the Chicago PD.

They were half-way back to the RMPs when the call went over the radio: _10-13, Officer Down._

__

you always wanted people to remember

you to leave your mark on society

well don't you know your wish is coming true today

another victim dies tonight 

--

Excerpt from the lyrics to "The Game" by Disturbed. CD titled "The Sickness" all rights reserved.

****


	15. A Puzzlement

****

"I remember you."

Aja opened her eyes and lifted her head up from the lumpy little pillow on the hospital bed to fix the ER doc with a baleful glare. "You do? Well, congratulations."

Faith chuckled softly. That was the Aja she remembered from years ago - nasty little attitude despite what little nicks and cuts life dealt her. She looked back at the five people waiting at the nurse's station to talk to her. The tall one with the goatee… Mr. Hotness in the flesh, he kept watching the doc with such an intense gaze. That was the look of someone who was frustrated, eager to talk to Aja… and incredibly over the moon for her. She wondered silently if her friend knew it. "Thanks Bos," she said quietly as Bosco handed her a coffee and moved to Aja's bedside. Faith had to shake her head at Bosco. He was in for a rude awakening.

"Sure I do.. Miss Cage… oh, you have a name this time." He laughed and sat down on the stool next to the bed. "You came into my ER about three years ago, all banged up, looked like someone tried to turn you into hamburger, electrocution burns all over you and you didn't speak one word. Not even when it hurt did you make a noise. I could see the pain in your eyes, especially when the tears rolled down your cheeks. You kept your mouth shut."

Aja sat up a little as he snapped the latex gloves on and opened up the suture kit beside the bed. "Look, doc, if you're going to reminisce down memory lane, at least pick a happy one. My arm is killing me and unless you decide to stitch it up, I'm about to get unhappy." She growled for effect and laid her head back down on the pillow. She knew Frank was out there, waiting to speak with her. But, she also knew that Jake had told him what he saw, what had happened. After counting the ceiling tiles for the first twenty minutes of waiting to see a doctor, she had gotten restless and irritated. Then Faith and Bosco came in, Sullivan and Davis right behind them with Frank and the rest of the team. One big happy reunion of sorts... Her eyes found Frank again as the doctor swabbed her upper right arm before sliding in a needle filled with an antithetic. The cold liquid and briny smell of the betadine didn't faze her one bit as their eyes locked on one another. He seemed a little relieved to at least make eye contact with her… and she felt a little relieved to have him there where she could see him.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Aja's eyes flicked from Frank down to the doc at her side. Rolling her eyes and sighing in exasperation, she flopped her head back on the pillow as he slid the needle through the flesh of her arm and began stitching. "Yeah, sure, ask me a question since you just can't seem to keep your lips closed."

"Ouch! Hey, Aja, be nice, OK? He's just trying to pass the time." Bosco scolded gently. He smiled behind the cup of coffee and reached for her hand. When she looked at him, then pulled her hand away from his, he stopped and frowned in confusion. What'd he say?

"I was wondering just what the hell you do to get yourself into these situations. You're not a cop by any means, so how do you wind up getting electrocuted, tortured, shot at, beat up, etc.? I mean, the police, it's their job, right?"

Faith looked at Aja, then at Bosco and then to the doc. Surely he didn't just ask that question. She saw Aja's face and for a moment they looked at each other. Aja shook her head and half-laughed, half-snorted in derision.

"Why do I do what I do?" She sat up at he tied off the last knot and opened up the pack of sterile bandages. " I know, I know, keep it dry and keep it covered, topical antibiotic and vitamin E oil. Yes, doc, I have been shot before. And in answer to your question? Obviously doc, you've never been an undercover Federal Agent." She slid off of the bed, the silk of her skirt whispering around her ankles as she stood up and eyed the patch-job on her arm. "I do what I do so people like you can ask me stupid questions about why I do what I do. I get shot at, tortured and electrocuted so that, on the off chance, it won't happen to you." She pushed past him and out of the sliding glass doors, shivering at the cold she was suddenly assaulted with from the early December air outside of the trauma doors. She gasped and wrapped her arms around her in a small effort to keep warm. When she was tagging Bristow, she didn't register the temperature at all.

Faith watched as Bosco hustled after Aja, then smiled apologetically to the doctor. "She's always that pleasant. Thanks for your help doc." She followed Bosco and joined him with the others by the station. "You OK Aja?"

Someone slid a warm jacket over her shoulders. At the moment she didn't care who it came from, it kept her from freezing. "Yeah Faith, I'm fine. I'm going to be sore when the local wears off. Bristow in custody?"

"Not really. He's on his way to the coroner's office." Bosco interrupted.

Aja shot him a look, then turned to Frank. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came. She couldn't think of anything to say just then. She could, however, read in his eyes how he felt about seeing her on her own two feet and only minorly injured. She kept seeing Jake's face when she opened her eyes. The concrete under her had been just as cold as the air when he rolled her over. She remembered opening her eyes and seeing his frantic expression. The only thing she remembered after that is seeing Doc, again, and his partner hoisting up the gurney and Frank standing back with an expression of deep concern, mixed with something else…

Faith leaned over and closed Aja's jaw. She then whispered, "So, are ya gonna introduce me to your boss?"

Aja looked at Faith, then back at Frank. "Yes, sorry, mind was elsewhere. Faith, this is my boss, Frank Donovan. Frank, this is Faith Yokas."

Frank nodded and shook the woman's hand. She had a strong grasp and smiled as she spoke. This was Aja's contact then… who was the little man behind her? "A pleasure to meet you Officer Yokas."

"Wait, hold up a second…" Bosco pushed between Faith and Aja. "Your BOSS?!" He'd only just put two and two together and the results didn't sit well with him. If what was going on that he thought was going on, then he'd been lied to all along. "How can he be your boss if you're IAB and he'd a Fed? You are IAB, aren't you?" When Aja didn't answer him, he grasped her left arm and pulled her to the side.

Frank started after the other officer, but stopped when Officer Yokas put her hand on his arm. "Let him go Sir. Aja will set him straight." He looked at her a moment, the nodded.

Faith grinned. "So, Mr. Hotness… you're into Aja, huh?" When Agent Donovan's head snapped back from Aja to her, Faith grinned even wider as the rest of his team tried impossibly to cover their own grins and giggles.

"I'm not IAB, Bosco."

"No shit Aja!" he hissed under his breath. "You lied to me!"

"I had to! You don't get it, do you? I couldn't tell anyone else!"

"You told Faith. You trusted her enough but you couldn't trust me?"

Aja sighed at the resigned and stubborn expression on his face. He wasn't going to get it no matter how hard she butted her head against the wall. She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I could only tell one person Bos. You have to understand something - I was investigating a drug ring and stumbled across something that even the Feds weren't expecting. By the time I realized it, I couldn't tell anyone else. I didn't know who to trust." She hated lying to him, but she had no choice. Perhaps if she could mislead him with a story about how entangled she supposedly was, he'd drop it.

Bosco recoiled a step, a look of indignant shock on his face. "You… you couldn't trust me?! Even after I told you how I felt, you couldn't trust me? That hurts Aja, really hurts. I would have done anything for you! I can't believe-" He was cut off by Aja grasping him by the back of his neck and pulling him up against her for a deep kiss.

Frank's jaw dropped as he saw what was going on behind Officer Yokas. All six of them turned to see Aja and Officer Boscorelli in a toe-curling kiss. Alex sub-consciously laid a hand on Frank's arm to steady him.

Aja pulled back from Bosco and watched him closely. She hadn't meant to kiss him, but it was the only way she could shut him up long enough to finish explaining. However, she soon realized that it backfired. When he opened his eyes and smiled, she groaned. Now that he had the wrong idea about her and her non-existent feelings towards him, it would be impossible to explain things now. 

Pushing past him, she went back over to Frank and looked up. "I think I should take some time off. I'm no good with fresh stitched and there's some things I need to finish up. I think I've earned it."

Frank took his intense gaze off of the male officer and put it on Aja. Inside he was warring with his incredible urge to pull her into a private room and give her a thorough once over himself - just to satisfy his need to know she was fine - and with his incredible urge to grasp Officer Boscorelli by his ankles, turn him upside down and pound him into the ground. Seeing him put his own jacket over Aja's shoulders to keep her warm didn't make him feel good… seeing her kiss him made him feel like killing. He narrowed his eyes for a split second before nodding. "Come back when the stitches are out." He nodded to Officer Yokas as he turned and left the ER.

Behind him Aja and everyone else was gawking. A part of Aja wanted to go after him and ask him what had crawled up his craw THIS time and another part of Aja said to let him go and stew. But when Bosco put his arm around her waist and pulled her close to whisper in her ear, 'you can stay with me while you heal up', she rolled her eyes and stormed out after him.

Faith had to put her hand over her mouth to hide the laughter. _'Oh Bosco,'_ she thought. _'You are in over your head when it comes to that woman.'_

"DONOVAN!"

Frank ignored Aja's shout and slid into the waiting taxi. He had to get out of there. He gave his directions to the driver and closed his eyes. What the hell was wrong with him? Why did the thought of her taking time off bother him so much? He snorted and leaned his head back as he felt the car start to pull out of the parking lot. It wasn't her taking time off… it was that kiss she laid on the snot-nosed policeman.

"What the hell?!" the cabbie gasped as he slammed on the brakes, sending Donovan out of his reverie and up against the separation grate between the front and back seats.

Alex, Jake, Monica, Cody, Faith and Bosco heard Aja's shout and the subsequent squealing of tires and ran out of the ER Bay doors. What sight greeted them was Aja standing down a NYC cab, gun drawn and leveled at the driver with Donovan in the back seat looking like he was about to kill. All six of them stood off to the side as Frank got out of the cab and stalked to the front. They watched as he grasped her by the wrist and yanked her out of the way.

"I'm going back to Chicago tonight Aja Cage," he snarled low in his throat. "You've got your medical vacation, what the hell else do you want?"

Aja swallowed slowly as she looked up at him. He had yet to release his grip on her wrists and her fingertips were beginning to tingle. "I… Frank," she said softly, "You… why are you upset?"

Frank stepped back, immediately releasing his grip on her and a look of stunned disbelief on his face. She had the gall to ask why he was so upset? Did she not just kiss that other man like he wasn't there? He held her eyes for a moment, trying to decide which course of action was best. Aja Cage was a paradox and he was tired of trying to figure out the answer. "Goodnight, Agent Cage." He said coolly. He watched as her facial expression changed from shock to stubborn and prideful anger. "I'm going to Chicago. Your medical vacation will be effective immediately. Like I said, come back when you get your stitches out or the doctor releases you back to full duty status." He turned and walked back to the waiting cab.

Aja's jaw dropped as he walked away from her. Her hands fell to her side, gun still held in one as she watching him turn around and look at her. When he paused and said 'You've earned it,' she felt like she'd been slapped in the face. What the hell was wrong with him? One moment he looked like he was ready to haul her off into a private room for a quickie, the next he's like a statue of ice. Mutely she watched the taxi pull out of the drive. What the hell was wrong with her?

__

your mind won't let you say that you want me

your mind won't ever, never let you have what you want

i feel your hunger to taste me

still your mind won't ever let you say

--

Excerpt from the lyrics to "Want" by Disturbed. CD titled "The Sickness" all rights reserved.

****

- tbc…


End file.
